High and Dry
by unwashedwonder
Summary: iancorn AU. Ian is a single dad to his son, Anthony, who realizes that most children have two parents; a mom and a dad. This begins to stress Ian out, for he may have more than one thing to explain to Anthony; some children have only one parent, and that some have two dads.
1. Everything In Its Right Place

"Daaaaaaad!"

"What is it, Anthony?" Ian rushed to his son's side, concerned.

"How do you turn it on?" He pointed at the TV.

"You can't turn the TV on?" Ian frowned, "You're almost seven, buddy. You need to learn."

Anthony sat in his father's lap and grabbed the remote, "Teach me!"

"You see this button?" Ian pointed to a big red one.

He nodded.

"You can read that, can't you?"

He nodded again, "Power."

"Good boy." He ruffled Anthony's wavy hair, "It turns the TV on."

Anthony took the remote in his tiny hands and pressed the button. The screen flickered to life, as did Anthony's face.

"We did it!"

"No, buddy, you did it."

Anthony put his hands on his hips, "No! We did it. Together."

Ian smiled, "That's right buddy. Teamwork."

"Teamwork!"

"Did you learn that at school?"

As much as he hated to admit it, he did not want Anthony at school. All he did was worry about his son. Anthony's mother had dropped him off at the doorstep of Ian's dorm in college. He took Anthony in, and sure enough, after a few tests, he found out that the kid was in fact his. Since that day, Ian's number one priority was Anthony. His safety, his happiness, his well-being. Everything.

When Anthony started school, Ian found that his life was awfully boring. Besides his late night stand up at several bars around the city, he found that he needed a real day job. He found one at a theater down the street from their apartment. The theater was for improv comedy. The audience would yell something at the actors and they'd have to obey the commands on the spot. He started as the desk worker, and he was moved up to writer, and now he holds those two jobs as well as being an actor.

He and a group of three others held their own show, and it was occasionally broad-casted on television. They each had their own job. Whatever it was they were discussing, they slipped some comedy into it.

Ian was notorious for reusing jokes in the most obvious and cheesy way possible because there aren't many jokes you can make about weather.

"Yes." Anthony nodded, "I did learn that at school."

Ian had taught Anthony to read, write, and speak properly before school, so Anthony was top of his class.

"Good for you." He smiled, ruffling his son's hair again, "I'm proud of you, buddy."

"Thanks dada."

Ian beamed down at his son, "So, how about you come to the theater with me since school got out early?"

Anthony nodded happily. He loved working at the desk.

Everyone at the theater knew and loved Anthony. He made the work a little more colorful, literally, by drawing pictures with the actors. He would draw after what they said, like an improv sort of drawing. Anthony loved it.

Matt immediately lit up like a lightbulb when he saw him, "There's my favorite little worker!"

Anthony ran over and hugged him, "Uncle Matt!"

Matthew Sohinki, however, was not related to Ian in any way. For some reason, Anthony called him Uncle Matt, but Joshua Ovenshire was just Josh, occasionally Joven, and Mari Takahashi was just plain Mari. Ian never found out why Matt was considered an uncle, but he stuck with it.

"Hey darling." Mari walked over from the desk, "Looks like I'll have a partner in crime today."

"Mari!" Anthony looked completely amazed by the amount of love he was getting.

"Why did no one tell me Anthony was here?" Joshua stormed out, "I heard all the racket and figured it could only mean one thing."

"Josh!" Anthony fell to the floor in excitement.

"Is he...is he okay?" Ian heard a new voice.

"Hey it's newbie." Mari laughed, "And he's fine."

"Newbie, this is Anthony. He's Ian's son." Matt explained, "He just gets really excited around a lot of people."

Ian looked over at the new guy, "Hey newbie."

Newbie rolled his eyes, "David Moss."

"Ian Hecox. Nice to meet you."

"You too." He nodded once.

"Newbie!" Anthony screamed at him, hugging him tightly.

"Oh." David smiled, holding the desk to balance himself, "Hey."

"There's so much people!" Anthony cried, trying to grab everyone in a group hug.

Ian laughed and gave in to the hug.

"So, have you seen some of newbie's work?" Mari asked later on in the day, pushing a large packet of papers towards Ian, "He lives with Matt I believe."

Ian looked up from his computer, "No, I'll get to it, though."

"Will you?"

Ian sighed, "Yes, _mother_, I will."

Mari rolled her eyes, "I'm not your mother. Just read it. It's really funny. Watch the tapes too. He's good."

"Is he part of the show?"

"We all think he should be, but it's up to you."

"What would he discuss?"

"Well, we need someone to cover games and movies."

"Can he do that?"

"Of course. He's good at that. You need to watch the tapes."

"I will, dammit!" He yelled, thankful that Matt and Josh had taken Anthony out for a special treat.

Mari laughed, "Alright alright."

Matt and Josh brought Anthony back and they all met in the recording room.

"Does Josh have his pop culture news ready?" Ian asked.

"As always." Mari nodded, holding up the papers.

"Does Matt have his regular news all together?"

"Yes."

"Do you have your music ready?"

"Of course."

"Do you have your female tips for feminism and sexism ready?"

"When do I not?"

"True."

"Do you have your weather ready?"

"If you mean, using the same joke I did last week, then yes."

This was their daily routine. Every week day Ian and Mari went over the same thing. Same questions, same answers.

"We're ready then?"

"We're ready."

"Then let's make the magic happen."


	2. All I Need

Ian went up to the green screen to speak about the weather when he noticed that Anthony had duped Newbie into carrying him around the place, which he seemed to be happy to do.

He was honestly surprised with the way Newbie acted around Anthony. He seemed to treat Anthony as if he were his own son. Ian noticed that Anthony seemed to be very comfortable around Newbie in return.

Ian smiled, making Mari yell at him about how he was supposed to be ready.

He rolled his eyes and put on a cocky grin, "Hello California. My name is Ian Hecox and this….is the weather."

The breakdown from 'Paranoid Android' by Radiohead rang out for a few seconds before Ian began talking.

"That's it for Ian." Matt gave him a high five, "Looks like Newbie and Anthony are getting along pretty well, huh?

Ian nodded, "You might not be the only uncle soon."

Matt snorted, "Yeah, I doubt that."

Josh walked over and whispered something to Matt, who gave him an award winning glare before pushing him away, "No. Why would you even think about saying something like that?"

Josh opened his mouth to speak.

"Did you even think about saying that?"

He nodded, "I thought….long and hard….about that."

Matt made a face, "You're disgusting. I'll meet you at home."

"Mari!" Ian yelled, turning to find her right in front of him, "Yes?"

He looked back; Josh had the car keys and was trying to convince Matt to leave with him.

"You said Newbie lived with Matt?"

"Yes."

"Does Josh also live there?"

"Practically." Mari rolled her eyes, "I swear to god if he doesn't ask Matt out soon, I'm doing it for him."

"Wait what?"

"They totally like each other. It's so obvious."

Ian glanced at them, "Yeah I can see it."

"Anyway, I should probably be heading out now." Mari shrugged, "It was nice to see Anthony again. Tell me what he wants for Christmas. I want to be able to get him something good."

"Mari, Christmas? It's not even Thanksgiving yet."

"Just….let me know, okay?"

"Okay." He rolled his eyes, "I'll see you on Monday."

"See you then."

During Ian's conversation with Mari, he noticed that Newbie and Anthony had gone outside on the porch. Ian went out to follow them.

He stopped in the doorway, leaning against the doorframe. He watched as Newbie finished reading the first of the Fantastic Four comics to Anthony.

"I'll bring you the second one tomorrow, alright?"

"Oh, he doesn't come every day." Ian spoke up.

Newbie jumped, "I….I didn't see you there."

"Dad!" Anthony cried happily, running to hug Ian.

"Did I….Did I do something wrong?" Newbie frowned.

"New-David, was it?" Ian raised an eyebrow.

David nodded, "David Moss. You almost called me Newbie, didn't you?"

Ian held his hands up, "Sorry man. Can't help it. Mari gave me some samples of your work. I'll have to check them out."

"Thank you sir." He nodded, "Also, when is the next time Anthony needs a babysitter? When will he be back at work?"

Ian grinned, "Wow, you like him already."

"Babysitter!" Anthony cried, "Pick Newbie!"

"Alright alright!" Ian laughed, "Newbie can be your next babysitter."

"I just…." David looked down, "I don't know. I've always wanted a kid."

"You can't have one?"

He shook his head.

"Infertile?"

"Not interested."

Ian nodded. He knew how that was. He didn't want to probe too far into David's life to find out what that meant, but he had some suspicions.

"I understand."

"That's not going to affect anything, is it?"

"What would that affect?"

"I don't know….My chances of getting the full time job. My chances of babysitting Anthony."

"All I need is the résumé, your promise not to physically or mentally harm Anthony, and to know your sense of humor and you're golden."

"Well, I can promise you that I won't hurt him in any way, and the other two are accomplished by the packet and spending more time with me."

"I have a stand up gig tomorrow night, why don't you come over for dinner and then watch Anthony?"

David smiled, "Sounds good to me."

"Perfect." Ian nodded, taking his son's hand, "Well, I'll see you then."

David waved goodbye and Ian smiled back.

"Bye Newbie!" Anthony called at him, waving with a huge grin on his face.


	3. Big Ideas Don't Get Any

_Dear Ian,_

_ I really hate to do this to you, but I have to. He's yours. Ours. I was not planning on having a child, but my friends convinced me to either give it up for adoption or give it to you. I decided to give him to you, figuring that it's what you would've wanted. I know we broke up, but he's still your son. I hope you can find someone who will love this child. I hope you can find him a nice home if he can't find one with you. I hope you find time for him. I hope you find yourself. Pray to St. Anthony that you do._

_Sincerely,_

_ Mel_

Yes, Ian still had the note. Yes, Ian still read it every day. Yes, Ian named Anthony after the patron saint of finding things, even if he himself wasn't strongly associated with any religion.

He tucked the note away in his drawer and pulled his blazer off, setting it on the chair.

Anthony came bounding down the stairs.

"Remember what I taught you?" Ian asked him.

"About Newbie?" Anthony frowned.

Ian sighed, "Buddy, his name is David."

"Newbie." Anthony said.

"Dave?"

Newbie."

"Davey?"

"Newbie!" Anthony pouted.

"Alright, alright, Newbie." Ian gave up, "You can call him Newbie."

Anthony smiled triumphantly.

"Here should be here any minute, so be nice, okay? I'll stay with you guys for a bit, but then he is going to watch you while I go to work, got it?"

He nodded, "Got it."

Ian ruffled his son's hair, "Good boy. You need to be good for Dav-Newbie."

"I promise."

"And one more thing…."

Anthony frowned.

"No funny business, understand?"

He nodded.

"Those are the Newbie rules."

Anthony giggled.

Ian felt it come up, "Get it?"

"Got it."

"Good."

"Great."

Ian smiled. That had been his thing with Anthony for as long as he could remember. It was how he knew that Anthony was paying attention.

The doorbell rang. Before Ian could even process what was happening, Anthony rushed to the door, tearing it open and revealing David.

"Newbie!"

David looked confused, but he squatted down so he was at Anthony's level, "Hey buddy. Are you going to call my Newbie forever?"

Anthony nodded.

"Even when I'm old?"

He nodded again.

David grinned, "Alright. What should I call you?"

"Mr. Fantastic!" He cheered, stretching his arms up as high as he could.

"You certainly are Mr. Fantastic. Look at that stretch! Amazing! Or should I say, fantastic?" David said with a smile.

Anthony hugged him, "Fantastic."

"Look what I brought." David opened his backpack and Anthony pulled out a dozen comic books.

"Whoa! Newbie! Fantastic!" He grinned.

Ian smiled, "Thanks a million for this, David."

"Newbie."

"Fine, fine. Newbie." Ian put his hand on David's shoulder.

David smiled over at him, "He's too young for the movie, isn't he?"

Ian nodded, "Maybe for his seventh birthday."

Anthony jumped up and down, "Hurray!"

Ian went over the regular information about Anthony for his safety with David; allergies, medicine, diet, bed time, emergency phone number.

"Daaaaad." Anthony lay on the ground, "What's for dinner?"

"I ordered us a pizza."

Anthony popped up like a rocket, "Pizza!"

David smiled, "Pizza sounds perfect to me."

"Pizza pizza!" Anthony grinned, "Pizza!"

"Whoa buddy." Ian stopped him before he could run into anything, "It's just pizza."

Anthony went limp and slipped out of Ian's arms, "Just pizza? Dad, pizza is the greatest thing in the world."

"I agree." David nodded, picking Anthony up.

"See? Newbie agrees with me."

"Well, Newbie is lame." Ian grinned at David, who just rolled his eyes.

Anthony crossed his arms, "Take it back."

"Fine fine." Ian held his hands up, "Newbie is not lame."

The doorbell rang.

"Pizza!" Anthony yelled, grabbing the money from Ian's hand and taking it to the front door, paying the man who delivered it, "Keep the change because pizza!"

Ian took the boxes from him, "Keep the change because pizza I guess."

Anthony danced around the table, setting out paper plates, singing about pizza.

"Is he always this excited?" David asked.

"He's a six year old boy, what do you expect?" Ian laughed.

In all honesty, that was the best night Ian had had in a long time. He was actually laughing for real with someone his own age, and not just his son. He finally felt like he had someone to talk to, and maybe even open up to.

Of course, Ian had Mari, but, because she was a girl, Ian felt that she couldn't quite fully empathize with his situation, since he was the male taking in the child and not the female. Not that Ian was sexist. He had Mari to shoot down every joke he had ever made about women and now he was trained to keep his mouth shut.

"Remember what I said?" He asked Anthony as he grabbed his jacket and headed outside.

Anthony nodded, "No big ideas."

"Don't try anything funny. No shenanigans." He grinned, kissing the top of his head, "Go to bed at 9:00. I'll let you stay up a bit since Newbie is special."

"Good luck, Dada. I love you." Anthony waved.

"Love you too, buddy."

"Good luck." David smiled.

"No, good luck to_ you_." He winked at Anthony before shutting the door.


	4. Bullet ProofI Wish I Was

**hey so i'm putting up a valdangelo fic sometime soon for any and all pjo fans. it will follow the same basic naming pattern as this fic, so i apologize in advance if some of the chapters are titled the same. you'll figure out the pattern soon i hope. i'm considering giving the first person to get it some sort of prize. maybe a collab fic or i'll make your idea into a one-shot or something i don't know.**

* * *

When Ian came home, Anthony was fast asleep. He went downstairs to pay David, who he found was also fast asleep, only David was on the couch.

He got himself a glass of water and went out to David, gently shaking him, "Hey Newbie."

David swatted his hand at Ian's, missing completely, "Go away."

"You should probably stay here if you're this tired." Ian frowned, sitting beside him.

He sat up and yawned, "Yeah alright."

"How was Anthony?"

"He was great. He was polite and helpful and he even offered to clear our plates after dessert."

Ian chuckled, "Man, I wish he treated the other babysitters that nicely."

David smiled, "He's a good kid."

"He takes after his mother."

"Where is she?" David frowned.

Ian shrugged, "No idea."

"You just let her go wherever?"

"I haven't seen her since Anthony was born. I didn't even know she was pregnant until Ant showed up at my doorstep."

David frowned, "What?"

"We broke up a little after she got pregnant I'm assuming. The kid was mine so she gave him to me."

"Did you break up because she was pregnant?"

Ian paused, "I don't….I don't think so. I really have no idea if that was it."

"Maybe you should ask her."

"Maybe I should….If I can find her that is."

David nodded, "Sorry for prying into your personal life."

"It's fine." Ian shrugged, "I don't mind. I can trust you. My life was pretty messed up until the whole webcast thing."

"Kind of bittersweet?"

Ian nodded, "Yeah. The bitterness comes from the fact that Anthony will never have a normal family, but the sweetness comes from the fact that he does have a family."

"Anthony is your number one priority, isn't he?"

"Absolutely."

David smiled, "See, I wish I had a kid I could care about this much."

"I just wish he could have grown up in a regular family. Whenever I go to school meetings, they sling these awful things at me. But I'm trying to make it better. I'm trying to be more defendant of myself. More…."

"Bulletproof?" David offered.

Ian shook his head, "I wish I was."

"I have the same feeling."

Ian grinned, "Thanks for all the help tonight. It really meant a lot to me."

"Anytime." He grinned, "I'm just glad you're letting me stay. I'm pretty sure that Josh and Matt are doing the unmentionable as we speak."

Ian made a face, "Don't put that image in my head!"

"What?" David frowned, "Gays?"

"No, I'm fine with that, trust me. It's the thought of them doing the unmentionable." He held his head in his hands, "You're disgusting make it go away."

David laughed, "Oops. Want me to sleep down here on the couch?"

"Well, we have a guest room." Ian led David over to it.

"Thanks man. I have a feeling I'll be here a lot due to my roommate and-hopefully-his new boyfriend."

"Hopefully?"

"Well, yeah." David shrugged, "I want them to be happy with each other."

"And are they?"

"They seem to be."

"Then I'm glad, you know? I'm happy for them."

"I am too." David smiled, "But I don't want to be happy for them in the same house while they're happy in each other."

Ian laughed so hard he thought he might've woken up Anthony.

"I haven't laughed that hard since…." He sat up, "For as long as I can remember. And I'm a comedian for a living."

David smiled, "I'm honored to be the one to make you laugh that way."

"Well, I am exhausted. Stand up. It drains you."

"I'm sorry for keeping you up. I'll make you two breakfast tomorrow morning."

"You don't have to do that."

"I want to. As a thanks. Also, just a tip."

"Hmm?"

"Anthony told me today that you've never taken him to the zoo."

"I….I haven't taken him to the zoo before, no."

"You know the perfect place to start?"

"No."

"The San Diego Zoo."

"David that's hours away."

"I'll take him."

"No, I want to be there. Maybe….Maybe tomorrow morning we can drive down there and spend more than one day at the zoo so he can get the full picture."

"Sounds fine to me." David smiled, "I'll see you tomorrow."

"I'll see you then." He grinned.


	5. A Reminder

Ian woke up the next morning, early, and got Anthony up, "We're going to the zoo."

Anthony shot up and got dressed before Ian even left the room.

"We'll get breakfast on the way, got it?"

Anthony nodded and ran downstairs, "Newbie!"

"Newbie's up?"

David leaned against the counter, "I figured you could use some coffee on our seven and a half hour trek to San Diego."

"The San Diego Zoo?" Anthony's eyes widened, "Wow!"

"I booked us tickets for the spend the night thing." David said, "Bring an extra change of clothes."

Anthony ran upstairs.

"Mari called me a million times last night." Ian looked at his phone.

"Yeah, she called me too." David smiled, "She had no clue where I was and it was worrying her."

"Are you two like…"

David laughed harder than Ian expected, "Absolutely not! I'm just moving in, no biggie."

"You're moving in?"

"Well, we figured since Josh and Matt got together-"

"They're actually together?"

"Oh yeah. It's real."

"Wow…."

"But since they're together now, Josh wants to move in, and I've known Mari since I was a kid, so she told me to come live with her."

Ian nodded, feeling just a twang of jealousy of Mari.

"She never asked me where I was though." He frowned, "I'll have to brace myself for her questions once her morning brain is up."

Anthony practically dragged the two men to the car.

"Are you sure you're okay with me coming?" David asked, handing Ian the coffee cup.

"I'm positive. Are you sure you want to come?"

"Of course. This sounds like fun."

Due to being woken up so early, Anthony fell asleep on the way up.

A song came on and Ian immediately changed the station.

"Dude come on I liked that song." David reached up to change it back, "Led Zep-"

Ian swatted his hand away, "No."

"No Stairway." David almost laughed, but stopped himself, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." Ian wouldn't even look at him.

"Ian…."

"It doesn't matter."

"Besides being for overplayed, there's no way you can just hate Stairway to Heaven." David crossed his arms, "Are you going to tell me what's up or not?"

Ian sighed, "This stays between us."

"Sure thing."

"This was our song." He started, "Mel and I danced to this freshmen year of high school and I asked her out. It was played when we first did it. It was played when…." He bit his lip, "When Anthony was conceived. It was playing on my radio when I first found Anthony."

David frowned, "I'm really sorry, Ian."

Ian shrugged it off, but inside he was feeling a whirlwind of emotions.

"If it's any consolation, it's probably like my tenth favorite Led Zeppelin song. No where near one. They aren't even my favorite band."

Ian smiled weakly, "Thanks, David."

"It's glad to hear that name."

"Oh, you don't like Newbie?" Ian grinned.

"I'm fine with it, but I can't be called Newbie for the rest of my life, can I?"

"My phone."

"What?" David looked down.

"My phone's ringing." Ian pointed out, "Can you answer it for me? Driving and phoning just don't go together."

"I got it." David answered, "Mari? Oh….yeah this is David….Yes, I'm safe. I'm with Ian….I spent the night there…." There was a long pause and so much silence that Ian could hear Mari loud and clear.

"You what? Are you two a thing yet?"

Yet. Ian felt himself heat up a little bit. Yet? Were they going to be a thing? Why did Mari think that? Ian was not, however, as weirded out by the image as he thought he'd be. It was almost a natural thought. These weren't feelings, were they? He shook them off.

"Mari!" David turned bright red, "No….We're not-" He lowered his voice, "We're not dating….."

Ian looked straight ahead, turning the radio up a little more, but not loud enough to wake Anthony.

"No, Mari, I didn't sleep with-You know what? I'll just tell you everything when I get back. I'm going to spend a nice relaxing day with my friend Ian." He hung up and put the phone back in the cup holder, "Done and done."

"So how is she?"

"Worried sick apparently." David rolled his eyes.

"Four more hours to go…." Ian sighed.

"Like a band of gypsies we go down the highway." David muttered to himself, but Ian heard and laughed.

"Going places I have never been-"

"Seeing things that I may never see again."

"Oh I can't wait to get on the road again." They both sang, laughing.

Anthony stirred in the backseat, "Could you two please just shut up?"


	6. Dollars & Cents

David walked Anthony to the front while Ian found a place to park.

When he reached them, David had the tickets out and ready.

Ian went to the zoo as a kid a few times, but he wasn't nearly as excited as Anthony looked. Anthony looked like a kid in a candy shop on his birthday or Christmas, and he'd just been handed a million dollars to buy whatever he wanted, and eat it too.

David picked Anthony up and put him on his shoulders so he could see more. If possible, Anthony looked more excited.

"You like the view?"

"I love it!" Anthony smiled, then climbed down and ran over to a kiosk, which had a stuffed monkey with long limbs and Velcro on the hands and feet.

He grabbed it and wore it like a necklace.

Before Ian could stop him, David pulled out his wallet and bought it for Anthony, who happily climbed back onto his shoulders, screaming, "Thanks Newbie!"

David chuckled and pocketed his wallet.

"I'm not letting you buy that for him." Ian said quietly.

"Too late." David laughed.

"I'm paying you back for it."

"I'll just spend it on something else for him."

"Then I'll keep paying you back." Ian grinned.

"Then I'll keep-"

"Would you like a photo?" A lady asked, stopping the bickering.

Ian shook his head, "No thank you."

He wanted to playfully banter with David again. It reminded Ian of how he used to be, before he had to put on a straight face and be a father. Not that being a father wasn't fun, he had a great time with it.

David ended up fighting Ian for the lunch bill, and Ian finally let him win because Anthony began to look worried.

"Why do you keep insisting on paying for everything?" Ian asked, looking up at David and grabbing Anthony's hand, "Don't run off. Stay with Daddy."

Anthony nodded.

"Because I feel like I owe you."

"Why?"

He shrugged, "You sort of picked me back up. You gave me a job. You gave me hope. You gave me people to care about, other than Mari and Matt, who I've known for ever."

"It's no big deal." Ian looked away.

"Yes it is. It is to me." David replied, "Thank you."

"You're welcome." Ian glanced back at him before turning to Anthony, "You and Newbie go play on the playground, okay? Daddy has an important call to make."

Anthony nodded and grabbed David's hand, dragging him off.

Ian called the man who publicized his show, "Hello?"

"Mr. Hecox. Good news."

"Yeah?"

"We've been informed that your show will be broadcasted on national television permanently."

Ian would've done a spit take had he been drinking anything, "You're serious?"

"Absolutely. Possibly daily, possibly a few times a week, but at least once a week."

"Wow….We're already on television though."

"Yes, but this is permanent. You're an official show now."

Ian couldn't believe it.

"Would you like to tell the others?"

"I'd love to."

"Are you still keeping the name?"

"Smosh?" He frowned, "Oh, definitely. My son came up with that. It's sticking."

"Well, congratulations, Ian Hecox. Smosh is now going to be a news show."

"I'll have to change it back to its original roots for that to happen."

"Of course. I preferred it that way anyway."

"Yes sir." Ian couldn't stop smiling, "I'm at the zoo with my son currently, so I'll have to let you know-hang on. I'm getting another call. It's the man who's watching my son."

"You let a stranger watch your son?"

"No, sir, it's just David."

"Well, answer that. I'll be waiting for the first episode."

"Yes, sir. Good bye."

He hung up, "David? What's wrong?"

David sounded worried, "It's Anthony. I don't know what's going on, but I'm freaking out more than he is."


	7. Rabbit In Your Headlights

"One second he was fine, laughing, and playing with the other kids and now he's curled up in a ball away from everyone else and he's shaking like he's crying, only he's not. I tried to talk to him, but he won't listen. He started hyperventilating and sweating. He's burning up. I'm really worried Ian what do I do?"

"David, calm down." Ian started running to where the playground was, "He's having a panic attack."

"Calm down? Your son is having a panic attack and you're telling me to calm down?" Ian could tell that David was worked up.

"David, calm down. You'll only stress him out more. Anthony likes you, and if he sees that he's worrying you, it will just make it worse."

Ian heard David take a deep breath, "Oh my god Ian what did I do? What do I do now?"

"I'm almost there. I'm hanging up now."

"Ian wait! I don't know what-"

He hung up and finally found them.

"Anthony!" He yelled, coming over and hugging him, "It's okay, buddy. Daddy's here. I know. I shouldn't have left you alone. I'm sorry. I'm here now."

Anthony carefully wrapped his arms around Ian's neck, but he was still trembling.

"Take deep breaths, buddy." Ian put his hand on Anthony's chest to measure his breathing.

"Can you count backwards from twenty?"

Anthony did so, and his breathing seemed to calm down a bit.

"Can you spell your full name?"

Anthony did what Ian asked as he continued to ask regular questions.

Ian grabbed Anthony's arms and held them up high in the air for a bit before he took a water bottle and gave his son a few sips.

"Want to sing a song?" Ian asked, extremely worried. He sang him the only song that had ever made him cry during Anthony's first few panic attacks because it was the song that Ian used to sing Anthony to sleep with. So far, it had always worked. Anthony always calmed down. However, it didn't work if Anthony wasn't already slightly calm, so he saved it for last.

Anthony nodded slightly, water dripping down his chin and hands.

"Her green plastic watering can, for her fake Chinese rubber plant, in the fake plastic earth…."

Anthony began to mouth the words along with him, not fully singing, "That she bought from a rubber man, in a town full of rubber plans, to get rid of itself…."

"It wears her out, it wears her out, it wears her out, it wears her out…." Anthony began singing along out loud now, clinging tightly to his father.

Ian continued singing with Anthony until he had calmed down completely.

Picking him up, Ian carried his son around for the next hour until Anthony seemed to have forgotten about the incident completely and was all smiles and giggles.

"What happened?" David asked while Anthony played with the statues of gorillas within Ian's sight.

"Anthony had a panic attack. The doctor said he would be prone to them. He had one on the first day of school. I asked his doctor, and he said that it was a type of agoraphobic panic attack from being separated from someone who makes him feel safe. I didn't think he'd have them after he went to school a year later and was fine without me. He hasn't had one in a year, I thought he'd be okay."

"Is that why you always bring him to work?"

Ian nodded.

"What was that you sang to him?"

"Oh, it was nothing. Just the first song I could think of that he knew." He lied.

David nodded, "Good choice."

He shrugged, "Thanks."

"Is he going to be okay?"

Ian nodded, "He's usually like this. He has one, he's quiet for a while, and then something little, in this case, gorillas, distract him and he's himself again."

"I was terrified. I thought I did something wrong."

"What did you do?"

"I just sat on the bench and told him that you'd be back soon and that if he wanted me to play with him, I would, but he told me that I should rest and watch his monkey."

"You didn't provoke it." Ian shook his head, "He and I did some research on it and we did exercises to prevent it every night, but we've stopped since school started in the fall because he didn't have any."

David nodded, "He looked like he'd seen a ghost or was staring down the headlights of a car, and then he just collapsed in the corner and shut everyone out. I was so worried for him."

Ian sighed, "Well, I'm glad you expressed concern."

"The other parents tried to pull their kids away from him, telling them not to play with him anymore. I was so mad. He's just a kid!"

"They were trying to do the right thing." He looked over at him, "They wanted him to be left alone so that he could calm down, but really they were just making him more nervous."

"Daddy I'm hungry." Anthony ran over and laid across Ian's lap, "I might die if I don't eat."

"No, buddy, you'll be fine. We'll go get dinner now, okay?"

Anthony jumped up, "Pizza?"

"We had that last night." Ian frowned.

He nodded, "Okay. What about burgers? Hot dogs? Pretzels?"

Anthony continued naming foods until they reached a restaurant.

"Are you sure that we should stay the night after that?"

Ian frowned, "I'll see what Anthony thinks. He knows himself best. If he wants to, then we will."

"I guess we're staying then." David grinned.


	8. Fake Plastic Trees

**hey guys sorry for such a short chapter tonight, new years eve and such. i'm exhausted. i'll try to write a longer one for tomorrow...sorry :/**

**also, if you have any tips/suggestions/comments/questions/concerns/anything, leave a review or message me at unwashedwonder . tumblr . com or unwashedwonder gmail . com (there are no spaces though)**

**don't ask for the explanation of the name unless you want a story that would make ted striker want to die**

**finally, do not think i am harping on people pleasers, that's just my honest interpretation of the song and i've wanted to give that spiel for ages and i can finally do it so please just...maybe take it into consideration? don't try to fit in, be yourself!**

* * *

Ian was not shocked at all when Anthony said that he wanted to stay. He looked like he was having a blast. From riding on David's shoulders to running around with his stuffed monkey(which he affectionately named Newbie), Anthony looked happier than Ian had ever seen him before. Ian was extremely thankful that David had encouraged him to come to the zoo. Ian loved the happy looks on both his son and his friend's faces. Something about David made Ian feel something he had only ever felt once before, but he kept it to himself, thinking it was just a passing feeling.

That night, Anthony lay down beside Ian, separating him from David. Ian laughed as Anthony pointed out the various animals all around them. Ian said a quiet thanks to the person who decided everyone should sleep in the area without the loud animals.

Ian looked up at the sky. He would've loved to look back on it and say he could count a million stars, but that would be a lie. Several buildings and planes lit up the sky. Ian sighed and closed his eyes, blocking everything out. Sometimes, Ian just wanted to curl up in a ball and shut the world out, living in his own little stress-free world for just a few minutes. At night, he would often tune everything out and just stare at the ceiling restlessly.

No, he didn't have a rough past. He wasn't physically abused or raped or drugged or self-harming or suicidal. He never did any of that. However, he had spent an awful long time trying to be who everyone else wanted him to be, and he was crushed when he began to realize that he could never be that person. All he wanted was to make everyone around him happy. Once he had his epiphany, he would give speeches out to high schools, thanking the man who saved him from a life of torment; the man who had no idea Ian even existed. Ian owed his life to his hero, and he thought the man was brilliant, even though he appeared to be out of his mind.

Ian started to break that mold, becoming his own person. He cut his hair differently than everyone else, even if it looked stupid. He became unique. Weird words and phrases, excessive gaming, and an overwhelming obsession with a certain alternative-rock band made him who he was, and he wouldn't trade that for all the money in the world.

Ian sighed and opened his eyes, staring up at the deep, dark blue night sky. He watched the blinking lights of planes as they flew overhead. He smiled to the soft humming of one of the mothers singing to her child. It was a beautiful song, though Ian had never heard it before. He made a mental note to ask the woman in the morning.

He thought about the day. David had been so worried about Anthony. Why? He wasn't complaining; he just wanted to know why he and Anthony mattered to him so much. Did David matter that much to him?

"Can't sleep?" David whispered.

Ian shook his head, "No."

Anthony, however, was fast asleep in her arms.

"Sing that song to yourself." David shrugged, "It might work."

"You know how depressing that song is? It's basically about how everything in our world is fake and we live for those false things. While we try to do something good, like creating something, in this case, a plant, we end up making it non original and unreal. We have little human interaction and even some of the people are fake. That's the first meaning."

David nodded, and to Ian, it looked like he was interested.

Ian continued, "But, it also speaks of fake love, watering the fake love with a fake container. If love isn't there in the first place, how can you try to make it real? Based off that love, an entire dysfunctional relationship forms. They aren't quite exactly what the other needed and that wore them out and that's why we fell apart."

"We?"

Ian cleared his throat, trying to change the subject, "There is a third meaning. Most of the people you meet are fake; they lie about their age, height, weight, personality. They just want to fit the mold. It's really fucking stressful to fill that mold of the perfect ideal human. It literally wears you out, which is why I only hire people who break that mold. If you don't fit that perfect mold, you'll crack. We live in a world of lies. If you ask me, I would tell you that Thom Yorke is an absolute genius."

David nodded, "I understand. I know quite a bit about fake love to be honest with you, but those details don't really matter. I don't like to talk about them. You're right about it wearing you the fuck out." He ran a hand through his hair.

Ian sighed, "I know exactly how you feel. It makes you feel like shit when you realize that you don't fit the mold you strive to be, but then you realize that you don't actually give a shit about what anyone thinks."

"Maybe sometime later we can share stories?" David suggested, "It sounds like we could help each other out."

Ian nodded once, "Sounds good to me."

"We can give each other tips, you know? It will make it a lot easier to stop the next one."

"I understand. It sounds good."

"You can tell me all about your fake plastic love."

Ian grinned.

When he closed his eyes again, he heard David humming the last few bars of the song. Ian realized that those were the ones that hit the closest to home. Little did he know, David felt the exact same way.

_If I could be who you wanted_

_If I could be who you wanted all the time_


	9. Million Dollar Question

Ian woke up the next morning earlier than he expected. He desperately wanted some coffee, but he was too scared to leave Anthony again. He could've run, but that might have triggered his asthma.

Anthony was no longer snuggled up to Ian's side. He shot up and looked around. Ian felt an insanely large wave of relief washing over him when he found his son attached to David.

David looked over at him, "How did he get over here?"

Ian shrugged, "He moved. He likes you. You know that."

"Yeah….I'm still trying to believe it."

"Oh come on." Ian sat up, "You're a great guy."

"Newbie?" Anthony's eyes opened quickly and he smiled up at David.

"Hey buddy."

While searching through the bag to make sure he had packed his inhaler, Ian overheard Anthony's conversation with David.

"You were in my dream last night." Anthony said.

"Oh yeah?" Ian could practically hear the smirk in David's voice, "Why?"

Anthony shrugged, "You lived with us and you helped take care of me while Daddy was away."

Ian froze. Anthony had a dream that pretty much was Ian and David raising Anthony together. For a split second, Ian loved the idea, but he couldn't quite tell why. Then, it started growing more and he realized that David would be a good father and that he would love to have him help him raise Anthony. It seemed like a good idea at the time.

He was worried about David's reaction. Would David be thinking the same things he is? Would he leave Anthony and Ian right then and there? Would he offer to do that? Did it upset him that Anthony subconsciously wanted David as his other parent, or did he like the idea? Ian's head spun and he dared to check and see.

Turning back around, Ian could see that David was not uncomfortable looking at all. Either he was a great actor or he didn't mind the fact that Anthony basically dreamed them getting married and raising a kid together. Ian was relieved slightly, but there was still a bigger problem at hand.

What worried Ian the most is that he himself didn't completely think that idea was bullshit. He actually was okay with the thought of he and David doing something like that, and that is exactly what scared him. He was completely and one hundred percent fine with people being gay, but he didn't know why this had just come up now in his life.

Ian came up with his own mental set of important questions.

_Did he have feelings for David?_

_Did David have feelings for him?_

_What would've happened if Anthony hadn't brought the dream up?_

The three picked up their things before heading off to find somewhere to eat. Anthony had to practically beg Ian to buy them pizza for breakfast, to which he agreed. To Ian's surprise, David didn't fight him to pay.

Ian just figured that David probably didn't feel the same way about him. The same way? There is no same way. Ian felt nothing for David.

At least, he _thought_ he felt nothing for him.

After breakfast, Anthony wanted to play in a different play area. Ian and David sat on the bench and watched.

"Anthony's dream didn't weird you out too much, did it?" David asked.

"No." Ian shook his head, "I think he's just trying to show you that he appreciates you for caring about him in a way that none of the other adults he knows do."

"Except you. You care for him like that."

"Exactly."

Anthony came running over, out of breath, looking angry.

"You're in trouble, Daddy."

"Why?" Ian frowned.

Anthony did it. He asked the one question Ian had been dreading answering his entire life. He knew that he'd eventually have to get around to answering it, but he just couldn't yet. It wasn't the right time. He had it forced upon him now.

Ian couldn't believe the words that came out of Anthony's mouth.

"Where's Mommy?"


	10. Optimistic

**hey guys, i'm writing another fanfic for smosh, and its an AU i like to call "smoshvengers" so basically smosh/avengers, and i wanted to know what ships you guys would like to see. let me know and i'll try to make them happen**

* * *

Shit. God dammit. Fuck everything. To hell with this.

Ian ran over every curse word he knew in his head, trying not to say any out loud. He had no idea what to say.

Luckily, David came to the rescue, "Why do you ask that?"

"The kid over there asked me why I had two dads and I said I only had one and it was the one with the funny hair and he asked where my mom was and I was really confused and he said that kids usually have a mom." Anthony put his hands on his hips.

Ian knew that Anthony wasn't trying to hurt him, but he didn't know what to say. He couldn't tell him now, not in front of all these people. He was afraid that Anthony would cry or have a panic attack.

"Well, some kids don't have a mom, and some kids don't have a dad." David glanced at Ian before starting up again, "And some kids have two moms or two dads."

"But where's my mommy?" Anthony frowned, "He said that there had to be a mommy in order for me to be alive."

Ian sighed, "Buddy, why don't you go play? I'll call Mommy and see where she is. I'll let you know when we get home."

Anthony nodded, "Can we go home now?"

"You want to leave already?" David grinned, helping Ian change the subject, "But it's so great. You haven't even seen all the animals yet."

"Yes we have, Newbie." Anthony rolled his eyes, saying it as if David was stupid, "You carried me around."

"But, have you been in the reptile house?"

Anthony shook his head, "No."

"Snakes are in there, buddy." Ian put his hand on Anthony's back.

He shuddered, "Snakes? Why did it have to be snakes?"

David laughed, "That's a classic movie."

"It's my favorite."

"He's six and he sat through Raiders of the Lost Ark?" David looked up at Ian.

Ian nodded, "We watch it all the time."

"He could handle the face melting? I had nightmares from that, and I was way older when I first saw it."

Ian smiled, "The first time was a little rough, but then he got used to it."

David nodded before turning to Anthony, "Do you have the hat?"

Anthony shook his head.

David smiled and looked up at Ian.

Ian frowned and mouthed, 'No.'

David grinned and stood up, "Well, if little man wants to go home, we probably should."

"We might hit traffic now." Ian said.

"Yes, but we have things to discuss so that may be ideal."

"Not in the car."

"Not that thing. Just between us." David looked down at Anthony and began leading him towards the exit, "You tired, little man?"

Anthony shrugged, "A little bit."

"Well, the car ride home will be awfully boring; you might as well get some sleep."

He nodded, "Newbie can stay in the back with me?"

"I have to sit up front with your dad to guide him home."

"No, the monkey."

"You named the monkey Newbie?" David smiled.

Anthony nodded, "Yeah."

Ian put his put on David's shoulder, "I told you he likes you."

Just as David predicted, Anthony fell asleep.

"Alright. Spill."

"I already told you."

"Why'd you lie to him?"

"What are you talking about?" Ian frowned, "I didn't lie to him."

"You said you would ask Melanie over."

"I said I would-" Ian froze, "What do you mean….'Melanie?'"

"Well, that's her name, right?"

"How would you know?"

"You said Mel earlier, and then I figured I'd look her up. I found her online."

"You creep." Ian almost laughed.

"I wanted to know who I-we-were up against."

"We aren't against her, David." Ian said, "I think she'll agree to come."

"The glass isn't always half full, Ian." David frowned.

"Well, this time it is. I'll call her when I get home."

"Alright…." David sighed.

"You don't even know her."

"If she hasn't come yet, what makes you think she'll come now?"

"Hope." Ian shrugged, "He's her son. You can't turn down a face like that."

David nodded, "Well, I'd like to meet her too if you don't mind."

Ian frowned. He didn't really want that. What if David hated her and didn't want to be around Ian anymore? What if she wanted to get back with Ian?

When they got home, Ian fed Anthony and David a quick meal before Anthony went off to bed.

"Man that boy can sleep." David smiled.

"Well, that's how most young boys are."

"True."

"I'll see you at work?" Ian asked.

David nodded, "If you want, you can come over tomorrow and help me move everything over to Mari's."

Ian smiled, "I'd love to. Maybe even some dinner after?"

David blinked.

Ian couldn't believe he had just said that. David would hate him for sure.

"Yeah." David smiled, "I'd love that. What about Anthony?"

"I was thinking it could be just the two of us."

"I know, but you don't want to be away from him for too long."

"Actually, this girl up the road who babysits Anthony had a younger sister, Kalel, and he is surprising calm around her. She always brings Kalel when they come and the two of them always play together."

"I smell a crush." David grinned.

"Oh please." Ian rolled his eyes, "I smelled it a year ago when they first met."

David shrugged, "Oh well."

"So, dinner then?"

"Sure."

"It's a date." Ian said, then covered it up, "I mean-"

"Ian, it's okay. It doesn't have to be like that if you don't want it to be."

"I….I might want it to be like that." Ian said, still not sure why he hadn't stopped talking.

"Then it will be like that." David replied, opening the door, "I'll see you then."

Ian could've sworn that David had winked at him as he left, but he wasn't quite sure.

He sure hoped he had.

The glass was looking mighty half full for Ian Hecox, and he wanted it to stay that way.


	11. Little by Little

Ian couldn't remember the last time he was this stressed out.

First, he had texted Mel about meeting up with Anthony, and second, he had his date.

He still couldn't tell if it was an official date or not. It was early, the sun had barely risen, but he was already freaking out and trying to get ready. He scrambled frantically through his closet to try and find something nice.

"Dad?" Anthony opened the door a little.

"Hey buddy." Ian stopped what he was doing and squatted down next to him, "What's up? You're never awake this early."

"I had a dream."

"Oh, what happened buddy?"

He shrugged, "It was just a monster."

Ian nodded, "Well, what else happened?"

"It was chasing me." Anthony frowned and his eyes were watering, "And it was really scary."

"Come here, buddy. Daddy's got you."

Anthony wiped his eyes, "No. I wasn't done."

Ian blinked, "Okay."

"Then, I pulled out my sword, and I stabbed it, but it was hurt, so I felt bad and started crying. Then, I helped the monster feel better and he wasn't so scary anymore. It turns out, he was just really confused and couldn't see well and thought that I was trying to attack him."

Ian smiled, "So you conquered your fear and helped someone?"

Anthony nodded.

Ian let out a low whistle, "You go, Ant. Want to help daddy out?"

He nodded again, wiping his nose.

"I need a shirt to wear to look nice today."

"The Coat de ivoirrie or whatever." Anthony shrugged.

"Côte d'Ivoire?" Ian grinned, "The Les Éléphants one? The soccer shirt?"

Anthony nodded.

"I like that one, but I was thinking something a bit nicer."

"What about the blue plaid one?"

Ian smiled and pulled it out, putting it on, "How do I look?"

Anthony clapped, "Nice!"

Ian did a twirl and a bow, "Now it's your turn."

"Why?"

"Kalel and her sister are coming over."

"Really?" Anthony's eyes lit up.

He ran back into his room and Ian had to chase him and playfully tackle him down to keep him from bouncing off the walls. Anthony swatted at his father, and Ian began tickling him lightly, making Anthony laugh even harder.

When their giggle fit was done, they both laid on the floor next to each other.

"I love you, Daddy." Anthony said.

Ian felt his heart swell with joy, "I love you too, Anthony."

Anthony smiled, "Can we pick out an outfit now?"

"Of course."

Kalel and her older sister came over, and Anthony was a flustered mess. Ian smiled and said he'd be back later tonight. He trusted the two girls and told them that they could go out to dinner and he would pay them back when he came home.

On his way over to David's, he called Melanie. She didn't pick up. He wondered if she had changed her number.

"Hey!" Ian saw Matt waving him down.

"Oh, hey." He stopped the car, "What are you doing all the way down here?"

"Mari told me to wait for you over here. Something about me being annoying." He grinned.

Ian rolled his eyes, "Get in."

"So, I heard you and David were going out for dinner tonight."

Ian pulled over, "What?"

"He kept asking me about my opinion on what he should wear. Josh said he should wear nothing, but I gave him a decent answer. He's really excited."

"I….Is it a date?"

"He said you guys were both unsure of whether or not it was a date."

"I've never felt this way about another guy before." Ian frowned, "I thought it might've been that I liked him, so I just asked him."

"Bingo." Matt grinned, "You're totally into him."

"I've known him for like, a week."

"It's been less than that."

"Exactly!" He frowned, "Well, I've known who he was for months now, but I never really knew him into a few days ago."

"That doesn't mean anything."

"You've known Josh for like a year."

"Yeah, but it took me that whole year to get him in bed with me. It's only taken you a few days. That's impressive. David's not easy, you know."

"I'm not trying to get him in bed with me. The last time that happened, I never saw her again."

"You haven't had sex in almost seven years?"

Ian shrugged, "Is that a big deal?"

"You've been single for almost seven years?"

"I….I'm sorry?"

Matt shook his head, "Just drive. Go see David. You need to start dating."

"I'm comfortable being single. I can't go out all the time. I have a panic attack prone son."

"True. Plus, with your asthma you couldn't get….serious."

Ian rolled his eyes and began driving again, "I'd be fine. Anthony ended up alright, didn't he?"

Matt nodded, "This is the place."

Ian sighed and got out, knocking on the door.

"I live here." Matt laughed, stepping in front of Ian to open the door, "I have a key."

Mari, Josh, and David were sitting on the floor playing a board game.

"Ready?"

David stood up and led Ian to the garage. They carried the boxes to the car. When about half the boxes were packed, Ian felt funny when he breathed. He shrugged it off; he'd done this before.

He had to sit down and take a few breaths through his inhaler, but other than that, he was fine.

"Have fun on your date." Matt called after them.

Ian looked down, hoping David hadn't heard.

"Where do you want to go?"

David shrugged, "Anywhere is fine."

Ian drove around to a nearby park and pulled the car over, "We need to talk before I determine where we're going."

David looked worried.

"Are we calling this a date?"

"Everyone else seems to be." David shrugged, "I wouldn't mind if it was. I'm cool with that."

"Good." Ian nodded once, "Then it is."

"Where are we going?" David looked around a few minutes later, "I've never been to this part of town."

"You'll see."

When they arrived, David glanced at Ian, "You're taking me to In-N-Out Burger?"

"Hell yeah I'm taking you to In-N-Out Burger now get your ungrateful ass out of the car. You should be thanking me." Ian grinned.

David smiled, "I'm not trashing it. I just figured that someone like you would want to go somewhere nice."

"Keep in mind I haven't gone on a date in seven years."

He whistled, "Wow."

"I've also never been on a date with a man."

"It's the same as a woman, only they don't demand to be kissed on the first date. I've done this before; I'll walk you through it."

Ian smiled, "Lead the way."

David held the door open for the both of them. They ordered and sat down.

"Have you been here before?" Ian asked.

"Not this specific restaurant, but I've been to others."

"Anthony and I come here once a week usually. He loves it."

"Is he with his little girlfriend?"

"She's not his girlfriend. Yet."

"I guess both members of the Hecox family have dates tonight." David grinned.

Ian rolled his eyes, "Whatever. So, life with Mari, huh? What's that like?"

"Well, I ended up staying last night with her, and it was pretty fun. We watched cheesy movies all night."

"Sounds like a party."

"Tomorrow we're going to get drunk and watch The Matrix trilogy."

"Now that really is a party."

When they were done eating, Ian got a phone call from his home phone.

"Hello?"

"Hey daddy."

"Hi, buddy. What's up?"

"There's a car that's been parked outside for a while. The lady came up and asked where you were."

Ian gulped and stood up, motioning for David to follow him. They went to the car.

"What did she look like?"

"She had long blonde hair. She was skinny."

"Okay, buddy. What did she want?" Ian began driving.

"She asked where you were."

"What did you say?"

"That you were out helping a friend move into his new house and that you'd be back in an hour. She's just waiting for you, I guess."

"I'm almost home, Anthony. Did she say anything else?"

"No. That was all."

"Did you say anything?"

"I told her I could take a message, but she said that she would just wait."

"Alright, buddy. I'll see you in a few minutes, okay?"

"See you then."

He hung up.

"Who…." David frowned.

Ian sighed and pulled up to the house, examining the car in his driveway.

"Who is that?" David asked again.

Ian frowned, "That….is Melanie Moat."


	12. Let Down

**if you like this story, go check out the first chapter of the smoshvengers fic!**

* * *

Ian felt like throwing up. Could he face Mel with David here?

He sighed, "You won't leave yet, will you?"

"I'll stay the night if you want." David replied

Ian shuddered, "No."

"Ian, not like that. I meant I'll sleep in the guest room."

Ian almost laughed. He would've had it not been a serious situation.

"I'm sorry I'm just really wound up and nervous."

"I'm here for you."

Ian smiled. He knew he could count on David.

"Ready to get out of the car?" David asked.

Ian took a deep breath, "Yeah."

David got up and out of his seat and waited for Ian.

He closed his eyes and felt his throat contract.

_No._ Ian thought, _This can't be happening again. This hasn't happened since I got Anthony._

He took a few deep breaths and he felt better.

Ian got out of the car and David frowned, "You okay?"

"I'm fine." He nodded, "I'll be fine."

Ian knew that Mel could see him, but he didn't want to see her yet.

She got out of the car, "Ian!"

Ian turned around. Mel hadn't changed at all.

"I got your text. Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I was at work."

"It's fine." Ian shrugged, "I just wanted a bit of a heads up."

"Who's this?" She smiled at David.

David seemed surprised, "Oh. I'm David. I work with Ian. He helped me move in with my friend."

She nodded, "It's nice to meet you."

Ian took a deep breath, "I'm guessing you want to see Anthony?"

"Anthony?" She looked at Ian, "Is that his name?"

He nodded, "Anthony Padilla Hecox."

"Where'd Padilla come from?" She seemed genuinely interested.

"It was the last name of a family friend who was always there when we needed him to be." Ian replied.

She smiled, "Was that him on the phone?"

"Yeah."

David started walking back inside.

Ian stayed where he was.

"Ian, I'm really sorry." Melanie frowned, "I wanted this to work out, but I just didn't think it was working."

He nodded, "I know what you mean."

"I know you were let down about it, but I figured if I contacted you after Anthony you'd be upset with me."

"I am a little upset. I was let down." He shrugged, "But I just want you to meet him. You don't have to introduce yourself as his mother if you don't want to."

"I was thinking that maybe I could stay the night and explain it to him in the morning since it's pretty late." She said, "But if that doesn't work out, it's totally fine."

"Why don't you let me explain it to him?" Ian frowned, "He'll believe me more."

She nodded, "Sounds good."

"I'll go tell David that he should take the couch then."

"Is he staying?"

"Yeah. The girl he's living with is going out tonight." Ian lied.

"Are they dating?"

"No. David….David's gay."

"Is he…."

"My boyfriend?" Ian sighed, "Sort of."

She cocked her head.

"We sort of were on a kind of date earlier."

"Sort of?"

"I asked him out to dinner and we both couldn't tell if it was a date or not and then we agreed it was one and now I don't know what we are."

She nodded, "I didn't know you were gay."

"I didn't either." He let out a short laugh.

Mel smiled.

Ian felt good again. He wanted this to be not awkward, and it seemed to be that way so far.

"Daddy!" Anthony came bounding outside and hugged his father, "You're home!"

"Yeah. I am."

"Who's this?" He looked up at Mel, "You're the girl from earlier."

"I'm…." Melanie shot a quick glance at Ian, "An old friend of your dad's. We went to high school and college together."

Anthony nodded, "Have you met Newbie yet?"

David was escorting Kalel and her sister out, paying them with what Ian noticed was his money. He smiled.

"You mean David?"

"We call him Newbie." Ian explained, "Since he is new to my work team."

Melanie smiled, "It's nice to meet you again, Newbie."

David rolled his eyes.

"Have you eaten?" Ian asked, leading Melanie inside, "I can make you some soup or something. We probably have some leftovers."

Melanie smiled, "Thank you. I'd love something to eat."

"Ian, why don't you go play with Anthony?" David put his hand on Ian's shoulder, "I'll cook Mel up something."

Ian nodded, and had a suspicious feeling.

He watched Mel and David all night. They seemed to really be becoming fast friends. Ian wasn't sure how to feel about this.

Ian put Anthony to bed and came back downstairs.

"I'll be right back." David said, going into the bathroom.

"Damn son." Melanie smiled, and Ian could tell that the next thing she said would be a joke, "If you weren't sort of dating him, I'd be all over that. He cooks, he cleans up after himself, he makes eye contact while talking."

"Well, he isn't going to stare at your boobs, Mel, he's gay."

"But still. It's considerate."

Ian looked around the kitchen. It was spotless, "Wow he really does clean up."

"How about I stay two nights?" Melanie smiled, "I barely got to meet the boy. Let him warm up to me before we tell him."

Ian nodded, "You can take the guest room."

David came back, "Where will I sleep then?"

Ian frowned, "Shit. You don't want to take the couch do you? No, you'll be woken up at the crack of dawn…."

"Can I borrow some clothes for tonight?" Mel asked.

"There's some sweatpants and a shirt in the laundry in the garage." Ian replied.

Once she left, Ian turned to David, "You're sleeping upstairs."

"Oh?" He raised an eyebrow.

Ian nodded.

Mel came back before he could say anything else.

"Well, I am going to bed now." She yawned, "Thanks for everything. Sorry for keeping you up so late."

Ian shrugged, "No problem."

David was already on his way upstairs. Ian rushed to catch up with him.

The next thing he knew, David had pulled him in and they were now kissing.


	13. Prove Yourself

Ian began to freak out a little inside. He hadn't kissed anyone like this in seven years. He had no idea what to do.

David pulled away after a few seconds, "I shouldn't have done that, should I?"

Ian didn't know what to do.

"Ian?"

He looked at David and sighed, "I'm sorry. I just wasn't expecting it."

"Well, we went on a date and you told me I was sleeping upstairs."

Ian looked down, "The only kissing I can remember how to do is kissing my son goodnight right before bed, which is generally just a forehead kiss."

David rubbed the back of his neck, "You….you didn't feel anything there, did you?"

Ian shook his head, "No, but I bet I'll feel it here."

He leaned in and kissed him again. This time he really did feel something. He felt a warmness surge through him, as if he was finally dry from a seven year swim through freezing water. He definitely never wanted it to end. Ian felt better than he ever had.

He had to pull away to take a breath.

"Are we official now?" He asked.

Ian smiled, "I think so, but I think we should wait til the whole Mel thing blows over before telling Anthony."

David nodded, "I understand."

"But, you can sleep in my bed tonight."

"I'm assuming you don't mean with you?"

"I do. Fuck. I mean, in the same bed, but not….sleeping with me." Ian fumbled over his words, "Dammit how bad did that sound?"

"Not too bad, honestly."

Ian sighed.

"I get it." David smiled, taking Ian's hand and pulling him gently into the room, "You want someone physically there to hold you in a tough time."

Ian nodded.

Once they were both ready for bed, Ian crawled under the covers and curled closer to David.

He woke up by himself.

"David?" He walked downstairs.

"Good morning." David kissed his cheek, "Just making breakfast. Anthony's in the living room watching cartoons."

"Where's Mel?"

"In her room, asleep still."

Ian nodded, "What are you making?"

"Eggs, bacon, biscuits, sausage." He shrugged.

"I didn't know we even had half of that stuff." Ian grinned.

"I went out and bought it."

"How long have you been up?"

"An hour." David glanced at the clock.

Ian sat on the counter, "Thanks for staying with me last night."

"Anytime." He smiled, "And I mean that."

"I think Mari will start to miss you."

He shrugged, "She can wait."

Ian wrapped his arms around David's neck, "Can I kiss you again?"

"Of course you can."

He leaned in and kissed David for the third time. It was great. Ian was finally beginning to remember how to do this properly.

"Just remember, I'm new with relationships. This is only my second one."

David nodded and kissed Ian again.

Mel came out wrapped in a blanket.

She stumbled back a little when she saw them, "I was totally not expecting that."

"No?" Ian frowned, "I told you about how we were sort of boyfriends."

"Sort of?" David grinned.

"That was before the kiss last night."

"You can't just put two and two together and get five, so tell me the kiss part." Mel smiled, "And Ian, don't say anything."

Ian desperately wanted to make a 2+2=5 joke, but he held it back. For now.

"Well, we basically just kissed and called it official." David shrugged.

"Hey daddy." Anthony rubbed his eyes.

"Hey buddy." Ian got down from the counter and ruffled Anthony's wavy hair, "How are you?"

"Good. What about you?" He yawned.

"I'm excellent. Did you see the breakfast Newbie made you?"

"Food!"

After ten minutes of begging, Ian let Anthony bring his food into the living room so he could eat while watching TV.

David went upstairs to get dressed, and Ian let him borrow some clean clothes.

"I'll have to get used to leaving some here." He grinned.

Ian rolled his eyes and shrugged into a pair of pants, "You wish."

"A guy can dream, Ian."

He laughed and went back down to the kitchen. Mel had somehow gotten a hold of one of Ian's button downs and had turned it into something that fit her nicely. She was sitting with Anthony, laughing at the stupid things the characters did.

"Alright, Mel." Ian muttered to himself, rubbing his hands together, "Time to prove yourself."


	14. Permanent Daylight

While Mel and Anthony watched cartoons, David and Ian stood in the kitchen, talking about how the day would work. They would probably just stay at home, but Ian said that David could go back home to Mari for the night.

"Mari will understand why I'm gone." David shrugged, "I want to be here with you."

"We'll probably head out around town and do some Christmas shopping."

David nodded, "I already know what I'm getting Mari, I just have to go out and actually pick it out."

"Yeah?"

"As a nice little housewarming thank you gift, I'm getting her a couch."

"You can't buy her a couch! That's more money that all my gifts combined!" Ian looked at him.

"She's letting me live with her, Ian. It's the least I could do."

Ian shrugged. He had the same couch that he had at his old house, before he went to college. He had taken it with him since the only ones he saw that he liked were expensive.

"Is Mel coming with us?" David asked.

"Yeah, I think so. If she wants to."

"I think I know what I'm getting Anthony."

"What?"

"I'm not telling you! You'll veto it."

Ian frowned. Now he really wanted to know.

Melanie stood up, "What's on the agenda for today?"

"Christmas shopping." Ian shrugged, "I haven't quite yet done that."

"It's almost time. Just another week."

Ian nodded, "I know."

They all piled in the car and went out to the mall. David wandered off, mumbling something about Mari's couch.

Ian thought about what to get David, but he couldn't think of anything that wasn't cliché or cheesy. He did know that he was definitely going to give him a full time job at Smosh. David was supposed to be in the first episode as the news guy along with Matt. They had done some work before, as Ian saw in the sample tapes, and the two of them together were absolutely hilarious.

While David was gone, Melanie seemed more flirtatious around Ian, as if she wanted him back. Of course, Ian didn't really like this and would often draw his attention to Anthony, pretending to be curious in what he was doing or to tell him not to get too far ahead.

"Daddy, where's Newbie?"

"He went off to get Mari a present, buddy."

"Is Mari his wife?" He asked, not looking back at Ian.

Ian was thankful that Anthony couldn't see his face, because he was sure that it was red, "No, Anthony. She's not. She's just offering him a place to stay for a while."

Anthony nodded, "Okay. What are we going to get Newbie for Christmas?"

"I don't know." Ian shrugged, "Do you have any ideas?"

He shook his head.

"I only know what girls want for Christmas." Mel flashed a smile at Ian.

_Oh no._ Ian thought, _She's flirting._

"Most want jewelry, diamonds, clothing, things like that. All I want is mistletoe around the house and a man I want back."

Ian nodded, "Sounds like a lot. I'd buy you a man if it wasn't illegal."

Anthony giggled and grabbed his father's hand, "You're so silly, daddy."

He smiled down at him and ruffled his hair, "Come on, buddy. Let's go find some lunch."

David was gone for the next few hours, and Ian began to get worried. Had he lost them? Was the couch taking that long? Was he with someone else?

_Okay, the last one is a bit paranoid,_ Ian thought, _but I'm supposed to be, right?_

Those hours dragged on forever, and Ian thought the sun would never set. When it finally did, he found David sitting at the table with some other guy. They were laughing and drinking coffee. David took something from the man, but Ian couldn't tell what it was.

He closed his eyes and bit his lip.

Fuck.

"Hey stranger."

He opened an eye, "David?"

David tucked a large envelope under his arm, "Miss me?"

"Who was that guy?"

"What guy?"

"The guy at the coffee shop over there. You were sitting with him and laughing."

"Oh." David looked down, "That's Wes."

"And he is?" Ian frowned. He could almost taste the bitterness of his own voice.

"Definitely not my boyfriend if that's what you were thinking." David grinned, "I asked him to stop by and give me this-" He gestured to his envelope, "-and I had to stay away so long because I didn't want him to give it to me in front of you guys."

"What is it?"

"Anthony's present." He smiled, pulling it out of Ian's reach.

"You're an asshole." Ian sighed, "For not letting me see that and for making me think you were with someone else."

David frowned, "Sorry. I did see you guys earlier, and Mel was practically hanging off you."

Ian nodded, "I know. I could tell."

"Anthony," Ian heard Mel say, "do you know your mommy?"

"No." He shook his head, "But I know my Daddy."

"Most people have two parents."

"I do have two parents." He frowned.

Ian froze. What?

"Who's your other parent then?" Melanie frowned, looking nervous.

"Him." Anthony threw his arm in Ian's direction, but he wasn't talking about Ian.

David.


	15. I Can't

**another chapter in one day ahhhhh**

**why?**

**because im having feels over that one ship i started that never got very popular but is totally tied with sohincorn and iancorn for OTP**

**yep**

**anthocorn**

**do you guys like love triangles? or friends with benefits? because i have other fanfics that i want to start posting when High and Dry is finished(almost there guys, it's been nice).**

**anyway, as usual, let me know if you have any fic ideas or pairings or AUs or anything really my tumblr is unwashedwonder if you want the idea to just be between the two of us or whatever**

**happy reading or something**

* * *

Ian was exhausted. He had a rough day. Melanie left sometime during the night without a word. He wasn't so worried about that. He was worried about the night before.

David had gone home with Mari. He had barely spoken a word to Ian before he left. Ian knew that something was wrong. Anthony had called David his father, yes, but Ian figured that David would have expected that. Ian was freaking out and he didn't know what to do.

Ian had to watch his breathing as to not freak out and cause Anthony to panic. Matt came over to drop off a suit he had borrowed from Ian for filming.

"You already finished?" Ian frowned.

"Yeah. David and I are done. I invited him out for a platonic lunch, but he said he was busy and left immediately after." Matt shrugged, "I thought he'd be here."

"Why would you think that?" Ian realized that Matt didn't know they were together.

Hell, Ian didn't even know if they were together anymore.

"Because he likes you."

"He does?"

"Isn't it obvious?"

Ian shrugged, "I don't know. Listen, I've got to clean up the mess Anthony and I made while baking cookies, but I'll talk to you later, oaky?"

Matt nodded, "Oh. Wait. I forgot to mention. Since none of my friends seem to have big Christmas plans, I'm having everyone over."

"You're having a party on Christmas?"

He shrugged, "Yeah. Problem?"

"Aren't you Jewish?"

"Oh I almost forgot," Matt gave Ian an un-amused look, "there's a pricey entrance fee and we're only serving bagels as we light our menorahs with the burnt pages of Mein Kampf."

Ian rolled his eyes, "You're an idiot."

"Yeah. I know. Honestly, Josh and I were just talking about how everyone's in town and no one has plans." He shrugged, "But it won't start until the afternoon so that everyone who has someone can spend the morning with them."

"I can't go. I have Anthony."

"Come on, man. Please? Let Anthony spend Christmas night with grandma or his little girlfriend."

Matt was right. Anthony was remarkably calm around Ian's mom, sometimes even calmer than he was around Ian.

"Alright. I'll take you up on that offer." Ian nodded, "I'll be there."

He waved goodbye and shut the door.

Ian didn't want to have a conversation about David, but he had someone slipped his way in. Ian almost couldn't take it. He wanted David to at least reach out and call him or send him a text, but he didn't do either of those.

The next day, Mari called him, "Ian! Good news!"

"What?"

"So, bad news first. My Christmas present was totally spoiled because I wasn't supposed to be home today but I was so I saw the couch and I love it! David's intention was that it was to be in our house, but I think it could also be the couch that I sit on for my segment since it's a bit more relaxed then Matt, Josh, or David's."

Ian was confused as to why Mari could mention David's name in front of him since she lived with him and could easily figure out that he'd been avoiding him.

"Also, I think we should bring back the Twitter one."

"Where you read out the mean things people say about celebrities and comment on them? That's already a popular thing."

"I think we could just add in people with crappy grammar or who say things that make no sense."

"Who are you talking to?" The voice was muffled and messed up, and a few crunches came along with it.

Ian's heart nearly stopped.

"Just your boyfriend." Mari said light heartedly.

The crunching stopped. He heard footsteps that eventually got softer.

"Hey, I'd love to stay and chat, but I have to clean up the mess Anthony and I made by baking." Ian said.

Ian winced; he hated lying. He hadn't been lying to Matt, but he had to. He didn't want to say that he felt awkward talking to the girl who lived with David. He had been in the room with her. He was home. He was okay. He wasn't contacting Ian.

It only hurt Ian more.

He had talked to Joshua the following day, with still nothing from David.

"Yeah, so I like Mari's idea of bringing the Twitter thing back-David put that down it's expensive and you're getting your greasy pizza fingers all over it-sorry, what was I saying? Romeo distracted me."

Ian frowned, "No, don't worry about it. I have to go clean up the mess I made-"

"With Anthony while baking?"

"What?"

"Nice try, Ian. I think you have another mess to clean up."

Ian frowned. Josh knew. How?

"I can't."


	16. This Mess We're In

**oops my hand slipped and i updated again**

* * *

Ian was glad that Anthony didn't have to see him break down like this. He was glad that he had sent him to hang out with Kalel. He did not want his son to see him freaking out over the loss of the man Anthony had called his father.

Joshua had come over by himself and was trying to talk to Ian, but Ian could barely talk.

No, Ian wasn't having a panic attack.

No, Ian wasn't sobbing uncontrollably.

No, Ian wasn't ready to hurt someone.

No, Ian wasn't eating mounds of ice cream while watching romance movies and wallowing in self-pity.

Ian was trying to fight an oncoming asthma attack.

He had only ever had an emotion triggered one before, and it was when he first saw Anthony. He was so filled up with emotion that he began hyperventilating and couldn't breathe.

He had to hide it from Joshua. He hated to admit it, but Ian was a bit embarrassed by his asthma. When he was younger, the kids at school had told him that it wasn't asthma; he just got tired easily because he was chubby. Ian tried to show them who was boss when he ran track in high school, but he ended up having to use his inhaler after every race. He was in great shape, but he still felt ashamed about it for some reason.

"Look, just talk to me. What happened?"

"David and I are dating."

Josh looked surprised.

"Or, we were. I don't know if we still are."

"What do you mean?"

"Mel came over."

"Shit, man. Really?" Josh ran his hands through his hair.

Ian nodded, taking deep breaths.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine."

"What happened after that?"

"We went Christmas shopping and she tried to explain to him that she was his mother but Anthony said that his other parent was David and then David left with Mari."

"He just left?"

"He just sort of looked down and got worried and then said he had to go check on how the couch was doing and that Mari would pick him up later."

"What an asshole." Joshua muttered.

"No, don't say that."

"Ian, you've been dating him for like a week, it's not like you were about to get married. That was a douchey bullshit move he pulled."

"It's not his fault. I should've told Anthony sooner." Ian put his head in his hands, "My whole life is a big fucking mess and I can't fucking take it."

"Life is what you make of it, Ian. When life gives you lemons-"

"Get mad. Make life rue the day it thought it could give Ian Hecox lemons." Ian smiled weakly.

"See? You're feeling better already." Josh smiled, "Just distract yourself. Don't think about him."

"I can't. I'm worried. I haven't seen him or heard from him since. Except on the phone with you and Mari."

"He wasn't with me." Josh admitted.

"He what?"

"I made that up. Matt told me you and Anthony baked cookies so we did too. Mari said that you both acted weird when she called David your boyfriend, then said that you gave her an excuse about needing to clean up baking with Anthony. He wasn't at my house, Ian. I just knew something was up."

"Have you seen him lately?"

Josh shook his head, "I have no idea where he is. He's not with Mari either."

Ian nodded, trying to regulate his breathing, but it was very, very difficult.

He felt his palms getting sweaty and he felt like someone had put their hand around his throat and squeezed. He couldn't breathe.

It was real.

It was happening.


	17. My Iron Lung

**hello sorry for the tiny pause in posting i had an eventful week. but, i felt bad that this was almost over because you guys seem to like it and i really love writing it so there's gonna be a sequel yaaaaay...**

* * *

"Ian?" Josh frowned, "Ian, buddy, are you okay?"

Ian shook his head, feeling light headed, "Second drawer to the left…."

Joshua got up and rushed over to it, "What?"

"Inhaler."

"Inhaler?"

"Get it." He coughed, trying to breathe.

Josh grabbed it and handed it to Ian, "Jesus Christ, Ian. What was that all about?"

Ian couldn't answer. He was breathing through the inhaler heavily, and it wasn't very effective.

Joshua picked his phone up and started calling someone. They didn't answer, because he threw his phone down in anger.

"Ian." He frowned, "Look at me."

Ian couldn't look at him. He couldn't tear his eyes off Joshua's phone. He couldn't stop staring at the call he had just made.

He didn't answer. David didn't answer.

"He told me the story a while back…." Joshua picked up his phone again, typing something in before setting it down.

Upon hearing his favorite song, Ian began to calm down a bit. He had been trained to, like Pavel's dog experiment. The invisible hand around his throat seemed to loosen its grip and he could breathe again. He felt a little better, and when he started to mumble the words into the inhaler, he felt much better.

"She lives with a broken man, a cracked polystyrene man, who just crumbles and burns." Joshua halfheartedly sang along, as if he was straining to remember the words.

There was silence from the two of them for the next line as Ian took a deep breath.

_He used to do surgery for girls in the eighties but gravity always wins._

"It wears him out. It wears him out. It wears him out. It wears him out." He muttered against the plastic.

Ian calmed down completely and put the inhaler down.

"If you don't mind me asking, what exactly happened there?" Josh blinked.

"An emotion triggered asthma attack." Ian began breathing normally, "Essentially my good ole lungs gave up on me."

"That's possible?"

Ian nodded, "Yeah."

Joshua rubbed his face with his hands, "Fuck. I'm sorry. I'm not used to this."

"You were fine." Ian smiled weakly, "You got the job done."

"I did fine?"

He nodded, "Thank you. I'm glad you remembered the song."

Well, David mentioned that you went on a rant about how beautiful it was, but he couldn't pay attention because all he wanted to do was lean over and kiss you."

Ian felt himself turn red, "Well I'm sure where ever he is, he doesn't want that anymore."

Josh frowned, "Don't say that."

"Why not?" Ian sighed, "If he cared, he'd be back."

"Anthony called him his father. Do you know how intense that is? Not only is Anthony growing up in a single parent environment, but now he has two dads? I'm sure David is just feeling a lot of pressure over it. I would take this time to explain to Anthony that a man and a man sometimes fall in love. If he learns it while he's young, he'll be better off later."

"He just left me high and dry, Josh. He hung me out to dry and he's stepped away."

"Ian, I explained his reasoning. He'll come back when he's ready."

"I'm telling Anthony tonight."

"Do you want me to be here?"

"No. Wait. Yes. Tell Matt to come over and we can all have dinner."

Joshua nodded and Matt arrived about ten minutes later with Anthony.

Anthony came running in the door, "Dad!"

"I picked him up from the neighbor's house." Matt said.

"Daddy?"

"Yes, buddy?"

"Where's Newbie? I lost him."

Ian frowned, "You lost him?"

"I had him one minutes, and then I turned back and now I can't find him."

"Oh." Ian nodded, slightly relieved to hear that Anthony was talking about the toy.

Ian stood up and grabbed it off the top shelf.

"You put him up here while you were gone so no one stepped on him."

"No no no." Anthony shook his head, taking the monkey, "Where's Newbie? Where's David?"


	18. How To Disappear Completely

**i know that a lot of fanfics have songs that go with each chapter, and sometimes, when done well, it's good, but other times it's ridiculously cheesy. however, most of my chapter titles don't match up very well with the song they're named after, and that's because they aren't supposed to go together like that.**

**i just really enjoy Radiohead, who wrote all the songs the chapters are titled for, and the song for the title of the book. Radiohead is absolutely genius. Their songs all strike different emotions that you didn't think you had. From power to depression to what the hell is a punchdrunk lovesick singalong(one of my favorites). Thom Yorke is the singer/songwriter of the band and he is a genius. I love all their songs, except Creep, which is the most popular. I'm tired of hearing that and seeing people post selfies with the lyrics.**

**however, this chapter title's song is absolutely beautiful and i seriously recommend you listen to it. it doesn't match up with the chapter, but it's beautiful and sad and i cried the first time i heard it. same with Fake Plastic Trees, which is Anthony's panic attack song.**

**so i advise you to listen to How To Disappear Completely, off the album Kid A, while reading this chapter just because it's so beautiful and it helps bring out the emotion I'm trying to show**

* * *

Ian gulped and looked down at his son.

"Where is he? Why isn't he over here?" Anthony played with the toy, "He's always here. He disappeared."

He sure did disappear. No one knew where he went. Ian only prayed that David knew where he was going. He hoped that he would come back. He didn't know what to do. He felt like death, which Ian found out was a very different feeling than dying. He knew this feeling very well, but he also knew that if he ever killed himself, Anthony would have no where to go. Of course, this heart break was not severe and he did not at all feel like killing himself. He felt like death.

"He's gone away for a bit, but he'll be back. You can go see him at work tomorrow, okay?" Ian figured that David would at least show up for work, even if no one knew where he was.

Anthony nodded, "Okay."

Ian hugged Anthony and picked him up to sit him on the table, "Daddy has something important to tell you, okay?"

Anthony looked up at him.

"You know how men get married to women?"

He nodded.

"Sometimes, men like other men that way." He bit his lip.

"You mean like them?" Anthony pointed at Matt and Josh.

Ian nodded, "Yeah. Like that."

"Yeah. I know that. It's pretty cool seeing that girls are stinky. Except Kalel." Anthony looked worried, "Please don't tell her I said girls were stinky."

"I won't." Ian ruffled his hair, "I just wanted to tell you that I like David that way."

"Are you marrying him?"

Ian frowned, "Well, no. Not yet. I can't find him."

Anthony nodded, playing with his monkey, "You guys could get married tomorrow."

"Uh, buddy, I met David like a week ago, and also, there is a step down from marriage called 'dating.'"

"You and Newbie should date."

"We are."

Anthony smiled, "Good."

Matt piped up, "You and Kalel should-"

"Girls are stinky, Uncle Matt!" Anthony huffed and crossed his arms, looking down to hide his face, but Ian could tell that he was bright red, "Don't tell her about dating. And don't tell her I said girls were stinky. I don't want her to think I don't like girls."

"It'll be our secret." Matt grinned.

Anthony smiled at him, "Thanks Uncle Matt."

"Anytime, Little Man."

Ian saw Anthony cringe a little. That's what David had grown used to calling him.

"I'm not little." He pouted.

"No, you're a big boy, but you're a little man. See? You aren't really a boy, but you aren't really a man." Josh smiled.

"Oh." Anthony returned to his happy usual self, "I get it."

That night, Ian put Anthony in bed. He called David, and there was no answer. He called him again, and in the middle of a ring he was sent to voicemail, as if David had intentionally cancelled the call.

He looked at his reflection in the mirror.

Ian was surprised. His hair looked flatter. There were bags under his eyes. His skin was pale and his eyes didn't shine. Now, not only did he feel like death, he looked like it too. All the life had been taken out of him.

"That's not me." He muttered.

He sunk down to the ground. He curled up and hugged his knees to his chest, trying to keep everything inside him. Ian had only ever felt like this once before, and that was when Anthony was left at his dorm.

The one he cared about was gone and left him for dead. The one he cared about had hung him out to dry. The one he cared about had disappeared completely.

He sat up straight, _You can't go on like this. Shape up. David may have destroyed you, but Anthony still needs a father. Be strong for Anthony. He needs you now more than ever. He had one father figure leave him; he can't have another gone too. You can do this. You have to. For Anthony. Do it for Anthony._

Ian made a mental list of things he could do to keep both his and Anthony's mind off David. He felt good for a few minutes before he was brought back down.

Mari had left Ian a voicemail, "Do you know where David is? He's not at home and he's been gone for a few days now. He isn't answering my calls. I'm worried sick. Please tell me if you know anything. Please."

Ian took a deep breath, trying not to have another asthma attack.

"I'm not here. This isn't happening. I'm not here, I'm not here." Ian repeated to himself over and over until he found this he was actually singing it.

He fell asleep on the floor muttering to himself.

"I'm not here…."


	19. (Nice Dream)

**i felt bad for not updating for a few days so here you go. i like this chapter a lot. i dont know if you guys look them up or not, but the songs they talk about are mostly Radiohead songs. Nightswimming, though, is actually by R.E.M., another great band. the other song, No Surprises, is by Radiohead. PM me if you have a chapter title/idea for any of the other fics, since this one is completely written, i just have to update the last few chapters in the next week or so.**

* * *

Ian woke up to Anthony kicking his stomach lightly.

"Daddy? Did you die?"

"No." Ian sat up slowly, "I'm fine, buddy."

"You look sick."

"I don't feel so good."

"I made you a bowl of cereal. I would've made you pancakes since I know it's your favorite, but I'm not allowed to use the stove."

Ian smiled and stood up, "Thanks, Little Man. Let's go eat."

While Anthony ran downstairs, Ian went outside to grab the paper. He saw that the house across the street was bought. He watched a family get out. Mother, father, and son. The little boy looked no older than Anthony and was carrying a dog.

The young boy waved, "Hello, mister! We're going to be your new neighbors soon!"

Ian waved back, "Nice to meet you. I like your dog."

"His name is Gryphon, thanks!"

The mother waved at Ian, "We're moving here in a few months."

"I'm looking forward to getting to know you, but I have to get back to my son now, we're making breakfast."

"We'll be properly introduced another day then." The father smiled politely.

The little boy grabbed the dog's hand and waved it at Ian, who bent down to pick of the paper before waving back and heading inside.

Anthony carefully carried the bowl to the counter, managing not to spill anything. The pieces were a little soggy, but Ian didn't mind. He was just happy that Anthony had thought about him and made him something while he was feeling down.

"Oh, Dad?"

"Yeah, buddy?"

"Matt called. He said that he went to work and David isn't there, so I guess I shouldn't go." Anthony turned around to put his bowl in the sink.

Ian shrugged, "I don't think I'm going today anyway. I want to spend the day with you."

Anthony smiled, "Yay! I want to do that too!"

Ian smiled back, "Good. Also, did you know that there's a new boy moving into town?"

Anthony shook his head, "When?"

He frowned, "The mother said in a few months. There's a boy about your age, and he has a puppy."

Anthony's eyes widened, "He has a dog?"

Ian nodded, "Yeah."

"I want to meet him!"

"They're probably busy right now, buying the house and all, but I'm sure you can soon."

Ian opened up the book, "Chapter One: The Boy Who Lived. Mr. and Mrs. Dursley, of number four, Privet Drive, were proud to say they were perfectly normal, thank you very much."

Anthony looked up at his father, cutting him off, "Can I tell you something?"

"Of course you can." He closed the book, using his finger to keep the page.

"Daddy," Anthony looked scared, "I had a dream that David didn't ever come back."

_Nice dream._ Ian thought sarcastically.

"Oh, buddy, that's awful." He became serious again, "I had a dream that he did."

"That's a nice dream, Dad. I wish I had that one instead." He leaned against Ian's side, pulling the blanket over the both of them.

Ian smiled, "It was."

"Can you tell me what happened?"

Ian's smile faded.

"Well, he came back and explained that he had to leave for a family crisis and he wasn't supposed to use his phone on the plane, and once he got there, he was too focused on the fact that someone was dying to contact us. Then, the three of us went to the zoo again and we had a lot of fun and you called David your dad and he was so proud that he called you his son and he wanted to spend the rest of his life with us, taking care of you and me."

"You don't need to be taken care of, Daddy. You're a grown man."

"I do need to be taken care of. I may be physically old, but I'm immature. You've seen my room. I have that dry erase paint on that one wall so I can write on it and erase what I don't need. On the other wall is a ton of movie and band posters. I have a signed shirt in a glass frame, Anthony. I'm just as much a kid as you are."

He scrunched up his nose, "You are a kid."

Ian laughed, and for the first time since David left, he was happy. The day was going perfectly for Ian. Anthony had made breakfast. The two had lain in the sunny patch by the window, soaking up the last bit of winter warmth and looking through Ian's high school yearbooks. Anthony laughed harder about Ian's freshmen picture than Ian had ever heard in his whole life. He complained about Ian's helmet hair. Ian pointed out his best friends and his worst enemies. Anthony pointed out Mel, which made Ian tense up a bit. They ordered pizza and ate it in their warm spots. Together, they pulled Ian's old record player out of the garage and cleaned it off, popping a few of the records on and singing loudly, laughing most of the time. When sun had sunk over their fence, they found that their warm patches were now cold. They moved to the couch, wrapped in a blanket fort and were currently reading one of Ian's favorite book series.

Ian didn't even think about David once, and it was like his life was back to the way it was before. Anthony was fun and high spirited, as he usually was. He never once showed signs of a panic attack, and all he wanted to do was play and dance and laugh and sing at the top of his lungs to Ian's cheesy pop ballad records.

It was about 8:00 when Ian announced it was bed time.

"Daddy!" Anthony whined, rolling on the carpet, "Please let me stay up late! It's our special day!"

Ian laughed and picked Anthony up, "I have an idea."

"What?"

"Go up to your room."

Anthony pouted, "I don't want to go to bed yet."

"You aren't. You're just going to go put your bathing suit on."

His eyes brightened and he ran upstairs as quickly as he could. Ian went outside and turned the Jacuzzi on. He went back up to his room and put his bathing suit on. Grabbing the waterproof CD player and a couple of his favorite homemade CD's, he rushed downstairs and to the pool deck. He put the stereo on the table, far away from the pool and turned it on.

"Nightswimming!" Anthony laughed, turning the larger pool's lights on.

"We can't go in there; it's too cold. We need to stay in the hot tub."

"I know. I just like to watch the lights."

Ian picked Anthony up and gently put him in the Jacuzzi, sitting on the side next to him.

"Get in, Daddy!" Anthony laughed, splashing him.

He smiled and slipped under the hot water, which made his face tingle. He came back up and shook his head around, thousands of water droplets spraying all over Anthony.

"You have too much hair, Dad." Anthony pushed the hair from Ian's eyes so he could see again.

"I know, Little Man." He laughed, "I like it that way."

While they were splashing each other, Ian backed up against the divider between the hot tub and the actual pool, and the shock of cold water on his spine made him shiver.

"Dad?"

"I'm fine, buddy. I just touched the cold water, that's all. No need to worry."

Anthony stuck his hand in and violently shook, "It's like an ice cube in there."

Ian smiled, "It is cold. Don't go in. You might get sick."

Anthony shivered against and hugged his father. Ian smiled and began humming a tune.

He noticed Anthony yawning.

"You just want me to fall asleep, don't you Daddy?" He said softly, rubbing his eyes.

Ian pulled him out and dried him off, "Nope. It was just stuck in my head."

"Can you sing it?"

"Your old lullaby?"

"You remember that?"

He nodded, "I liked that one better. But after my first panic attack, you started singing another song, and that confused me."

"Is that why you had trouble sleeping?"

Anthony shrugged and grabbed Ian's hand, pulling him inside. Ian helped his son get ready for bed and pulled the covers up under his chin, "Stay warm."

"Will you sing for me?"

"Are you sure?" He frowned, "It's a really sad song."

"I like it."

Ian nodded "Then I'll sing it."

Anthony began humming the tune and Ian cleared his throat before he began to sing softly.

Anthony was asleep before Ian could even finish.

He went downstairs to clean up the pool area, still singing to himself.

"Such a pretty house and such a pretty garden, no alarms and no surprises please." He hummed the melody out as he packed everything away.

Silence.

Silence.


	20. Sulk

Anthony was at Kalel's house. Ian was by himself. He sat on a stool, his head in his arms on the counter. He was almost asleep, but the doorbell rang.

He groaned and stood up, buttoning his shirt up a few more buttons. He unlocked the door and opened it, "Hello?"

"Hey, Mr." The boy from across the street said.

Ian sucked in a breath, "Gryphon, was it?"

"That's my dog." The boy smiled, "I'm Toby."

He had met Toby a week ago, when he had first noticed that someone was moving in.

"Hey, Toby. I'm Ian."

"My mom wants to know if you'll show us around he neighborhood and talk to us about what's around here."

Ian grabbed his jacket and shut the door behind him, "Yeah, sure thing."

He ruffled Toby's hair and noticed that although it had the same effect on Toby as it did Anthony, it felt completely different on his hand. Toby's hair was curly, whereas Anthony's was just wavy.

Ian honestly wanted anything to take his mind off David. He's the only thing he could focus on right now.

"So, Mr. Ian. Mom says you have a son." Toby took Ian's sleeve and led him across the yard, stopping in front of the street to look both ways even though there were obvious no cars.

Ian admired the innocence in children. They didn't have to deal with all the adult issues he had. They didn't know the pain of heartbreak, the pain of loss, the pain of not knowing. Most children were oblivious by default to the feelings of intense emotional pain. Ian watched as Toby smiled up at the sun and swung his arms happily.

"Yes, that's right. He's going to be seven next year. His name is Anthony."

"Do you call him Tony?"

Ian shook his head, "I call him Anthony, Ant, Buddy, or Little Man usually."

"Little Man?" Toby laughed and crossed the street carefully with Ian right behind, "My mom calls me a Big Kid."

"Same difference." Ian smiled, "You're a Big Kid, you're a Little Man. Pretty much the same."

Toby nodded, "That's cool."

Ian met the Turners. They were extremely kind to him and wanted to set up play dates with Anthony.

"Just send Toby over anytime you want and Anthony will be happy to hang out." Ian smiled.

They asked lots of questions and Ian answered them as politely as he could. He could sense that they knew something was a bit wrong.

When asked if he was alright, Ian nodded, replying, "I'm fine. Rough break up, that's all."

No questions were asked. No judgements were given for him being a single parent.

Ian went home right before dinner and Anthony brought Kalel. They wanted to have a movie night and watch the first Star Wars, only Anthony said fourth, which Ian was incredibly proud of. He was happy to have Kalel over, as he usually was. She was all smiles and laughter, which was normal. She and Anthony ended up pulling out the toy lightsabers and fighting each other.

Anthony ran upstairs and brought down the red lightsaber and handed it to Ian, who was sitting at the counter, silent and moody.

Ian smiled down at him, "What's this?"

"Come play with us."

"Maybe in a few minutes."

Anthony crossed his arms, "You can't just mope around all the time, Dad. I know he's not coming back but you have to cheer up a little and stop sulking."

Ian was taken aback. Had Anthony just been the more mature one? How did he know David wasn't coming back? Then again, he'd been gone for almost two weeks. Anthony was growing up and now he was telling Ian not to be so upset and mopey all the time. He got down from the counter and looked at his son.

Anthony, as if he already knew Ian's decision, was holding out the toy.

Ian held it and he felt like a kid again. He loved it. They fought for a while before Ian called Kalel's parents to ask if she could stay the night. As suspected, she could. Ian let the two of them sleep in the living room, while he went upstairs.

He knew that nothing would happen. After all, Anthony was only six and he would never tell Kalel that he actually thought girls were kind of cool.

Ian sighed and laid down in his bed, rolling over and burying his face in the pillow.

He wanted him back. He knew he couldn't sulk, but he wanted him back so he never had to mope.

Ian picked up his phone and called David. There was no answer, as usual.

He knew David wouldn't answer.

What he didn't know is that David stared at his phone screen, hoping that Ian wouldn't stop calling.

What he didn't know is that David almost did answer.

What he didn't know is that David was tempted to call him back.

What he didn't know is that David desperately wanted to answer.

What he didn't know is that David was scared.


	21. I Froze Up

**woohoo i gave a little insight into david's world so make of it what you will**

"She looks like the real thing. She tastes like the real thing. My fake plastic love." Ian put his hands on Anthony's shoulders.

"But I can't help the feeling, I could blow through the ceiling if I just turn and run." Anthony buried his face in his father's shirt and cried, "I miss him, Daddy."

"I know, buddy." Ian kissed the top of Anthony's head, "I miss him too."

"It wears me out, it wears me out." Anthony sighed, not even smiling at his own joke.

"It wears me out too, Little Man. It wears me out."

"We can do this." Anthony hugged him.

It had been almost a month since David dropped off the earth. Anthony had been having minor panic attacks more often when he came home and found that David wasn't there. This only made Ian worse.

The two had just gotten over a duel hardship. Ian began having another emotional triggered asthma attack and it only made Anthony stressed, so he had begun to panic as well. It went on with neither of them saying anything, just breathing deeply and shaking for almost half an hour until Ian had calmed down and moved on to help Anthony.

"We can." Ian smiled, "Now go put your pajamas on and I'll be there in a few minutes to read you The Night Before Christmas."

Anthony smiled, "Can we leave out cookies?"

Ian ran his hand through his hair, "I completely forgot."

"Daddy!" Anthony put his hands on his hips, "It's Christmas Eve! How could you forget that?"

He shrugged, "I've just been…."

"Thinking about Newbie?"

Ian sighed and nodded, rubbing his face, "Yeah."

Anthony cocked his head, "You really liked him, didn't you?"

Ian nodded again, "I did."

"Did you love him?"

Ian paused. He didn't know what to say. He completely froze up. Did he love him? Ian had only known him for a few days before the incident happened, but David had been gone for almost a month, and he's all that Ian could think about. Was it love? Ian used to think that love didn't come that easily. It took time and patience and caring for each other. Now, he found love in a man who completely abandoned him when he needed him most, when Anthony needed a father.

"Did I love him?" Ian muttered to himself.

He barely knew him. They dated for a few days, but it had felt like forever. Absence really does make the heart grow stronger.

"I think so." Anthony sniffled, "I think you did."

"Go put your pajamas on. I'll be right up." Ian said shortly, not wanting to continue this conversation any longer.

When Anthony left, Ian called David again.

* * *

David leaned over to get a better look at his phone. Ian. David hadn't actually opened his phone in over a week, so the lock screen was crowded with dozens upon dozens of missed calls from everybody.

"It that the guy?"

He looked back at Dan, "Yeah. That's him."

Dan looked like he wanted to say something, but didn't.

"Don't ask." David turned back to the television, turning the volume up, "Please don't ask."

He watched his phone settle down and stop vibrating and the screen went black. He reached for it, but withdrew his hand and let it rest along his leg as he directed his attention to whatever show he was watching. He wasn't really watching it. He couldn't focus on anything else but Ian.

"Do you want a drink or something to eat?" Dan asked.

David shrugged, "Can I?"

"Of course you can. You've been here for almost a month now; you're always welcome here. Eat what you want."

"Look, Dan, you've been nice and all, but you don't need to pity me."

"I don't pity you, bro." He pushed David's head lightly as he sat next to him, "Plus, the missus and the kids love you."

"I know." He smiled, "When will they be back?"

"Anytime now. We're supposed to spend Christmas Eve together, you know, as a family."

That echoed in David's head.

"I have to make a call." He grabbed his phone.

"David where the fuck have you been? I've been up to my eyeballs in calls and messages from everyone asking me! Get your ass back here and do some explaining!"

"Jesus Christ." He muttered, "Calm down, Mari."

"Calm down?" He could tell she was angry, "If you don't get your ass back here in a day, I'm getting the police to trace this call."

He was silent.

"Are you okay?" Mari said, sounding more serious, "Are you hungry? Are you sick? Are you hurt?"

"Mari, I'm alright. I promise. I'm at my brother's house." He gave her the address, "I'm coming home."

* * *

"A merry Christmas to all, and to all…."

"A good night." Anthony rested his head on Ian's arm, "It is a good night."

"It sure is."

"Am I visiting grandma tomorrow?"

"Of course, but not after you and I see what Santa got you." Ian bit his lip and pulled a manila envelope from the back of the book, "I don't know what this is, but it's from Newbie."

Anthony nodded and grabbed for it. His little fingers struggled to open it up, so Ian had to help him.

His eyes grew wide when he dumped it out. There were three of nearly every amusement park pass you could think of in California. Anthony looked through all of them.

"Santa Monica Pier, Six Flags, Universal Studios, Disney, California Adventure, the Zoo, Balboa Park…." Ian read them aloud, "The list goes on and on, Ant. You'd better write him a thank you letter."

"But where would we send it?"

Ian paused, "I'll just let him know that you wrote him one. You can write it tomorrow at Mama's, okay?"

He smiled widely, "I can't wait to go to all these places!"

Ian kissed the top of Anthony's hair, "You'll get the rest of your presents tomorrow. I think there's one from Kalel…."

Anthony's eyes widened before he quickly shut them, "I'm sleeping. Good night, Daddy."

"Good night, Little Man."


	22. I Promise

**since there's only three chapters left in this one, i figured i might as well just finish it off today. but never fear, make sure to check out the sequel. i'll be posting the first chapter once i finish posting the rest of these chapters. if you like iancorn, be sure to check out my highschool AU, Changes. it'll fill your daily dose of iancorn. also, if you want to collab or rp, let me know! i'd love to.**

Ian was woken up by a sudden dip in his bed. It shrugged it off, but the dip came back, heavy this time. The dips came more frequently and he ended up opening with eyes to see his son bouncing on his bed.

"It's Christmas, Daddy! Wake up!"

"I will, I will. Calm down, buddy."

"No! I want to see what Kalel got me!"

"What about Santa?"

Anthony turned red, "I said Santa."

"No, you said Kalel."

"I meant Santa!" He crossed his arms, then grabbed Ian's hand, "Come on, Dada let's go!"

"Alright alright." Ian pulled some pajama pants on and grabbed a sweatshirt before walking down the stairs.

Anthony's face lit up, "Presents!"

"Alright buddy, open them up!" Ian took out his camera like he did every year and filmed him.

Kalel's present was wrapped up in newspaper comics. Anthony carefully unwrapped it so he could read the comics later.

It was a small book.

Ian looked over his shoulder at it.

Anthony flipped through the pages. They were all blank. A note fell out of on of them.

'Dear Ant, I know how much you like to draw and write down ideas for things to draw, so I wanted to get you this really neat notebook I found at my grandpa's house. He said he never wrote in it and that I could have it. Merry Christmas! I hope you get what you wanted most of all! 3 Kalel'

"Did you?" Ian smiled at Anthony, "Did you get what you wanted most of all?"

Anthony looked up at his father sadly, "No."

"What was it?" Ian frowned.

"I wanted him to come back."

Ian knocked on the door and was welcomed in. He saw several of the people he had worked with before at the theatre, and even some of the camera men for the new Smosh official show.

Anthony had been dropped off at Ian's mother's house and was probably gushing everything about Ian being gay. Ian laughed to himself. What a great way to come out to your mother. Have your son tell her.

He had fun, but it felt numb. He smiled through the fact that almost everyone there had someone they could take home that night, and he had no one. Ian grabbed a beer as Mari approached him.

"Hey designated driver." Mari took the beer from him.

"My boyfriend left me when I needed him most. Give it back." He snatched it up, "Besides, I already talked to Matt and he said that you and me can spend the night here if we wanted.

"Ian, he promised me he'd be here tonight. He's never broken a promise to me before." Mari frowned, "Plus, he's progressively getting closer. I can feel it." Her eyes widened, "Actually, I can see it."

She stood on her toes and waved.

Ian ducked down and rushed away, not wanting to be caught up in an awkward scene. He pulled the hood of his jacket over his face and watched them from the corner.

David looked rugged and messy as he threw his arms around Mari and hugged her tightly, not letting go. Ian could hear muffled, "I missed you," "Where the fuck have you been," and "Never leave like that ever again." from Mari.

David shook his head and Ian could barely make out, "I won't run away again. I promise."

His hair was uncombed and his face wasn't smooth anymore. Ian had quite enjoyed not having bristles against his neck like he did when he hugged any man he knew. He himself was not too found of touching his own bearded face, and he was sure David wasn't either. David looked like he hadn't slept in days. Then again, Ian wasn't really one to talk considering he probably looked way worse. Other than that, he looked perfectly healthy, like he had had a good time away from Ian. He was wearing a shirt that was most definitely not his or Ian's. David would never wear a college shirt that wasn't Ohio State. Did he find someone new while he was away?

Ian sighed and darted out the window as he saw them heading for the kitchen, which was right near him.

He crawled out the window and sat by himself on the roof, closing his eyes.

"Hey stranger."


	23. True Love Waits

Ian frowned, "What do you want?"

"We can't talk?"

"What do we have to say to each other?" Ian was not expecting himself to be so mad.

"Well you could start by asking me to have a seat."

"Be my guest." Ian muttered, "Have a seat, would you, David? I should've cleared a spot already."

David frowned, "You know what, if you're going to be pissy with me, I'm not even going to try to explain myself. You obviously don't want me here right now."

Ian sighed, "Just have a god damn seat."

He sat down and held his beer in both hands in his lap, suddenly becoming very interested in it, not looking anywhere else.

"Look, did you come here to talk to me or stare at your beer?"

David frowned and looked over at Ian, "I came here to talk to you."

"Then start talking." Ian sighed, dropping his empty bottle down into the garbage just below the roof.

He watched it go in the plastic bin and shatter against the bottom.

"I'm sorry."

Ian shook his head and watched the cars drive by. He knew if he looked at David he'd have some kind of break down. He didn't want to.

"You'd better be sorry."

"I am."

"You scared me to death. Anthony too."

"I'm not here to talk about Anthony, as much as I care about him. I'm here to talk about you. About me. About us."

"Well, 'us' is failing." Ian hated being this hard on David, but he knew if he said what he really felt he would be an emotional babbling mess.

"I know. What I did was wrong, and I'm here to apologize. I'm not expecting anything. I'm not expecting you to take me back. I'm not expecting everything to be fine. I just want to let you know why."

"Then why?"

"Because I was scared."

"Scared?" Ian looked at David from the corner of his eye.

"I didn't know what to think of anything." He put his head in his hands, beer bottle between his legs, "I didn't know what to do. Anthony looked at me like his father, but we hadn't been dating for very long at all and I had only known you like a week and I just feel like shit for leaving you guys and seeing my brother really happy with his family made me realize that maybe you and Anthony still cared about me and wanted me there but I thought that was selfish and that you'd never think that because you hated me now but I had to come back to explain."

Ian wanted-more than anything-to pull a cliché move and kiss him in the middle of his explanation, making all the bad things go away, but he just couldn't. He wanted to know. This wouldn't ever go away. Part of Ian would always hate David for leaving him, even if the rest of him loved him for coming back.

Ian closed his eyes for a few seconds and thought. He opened them and looked over at David, and he could tell that David felt extremely guilty for ruining whatever it was that they had.

"Is that really all you came for?" Ian frowned, "Just to explain."

He shrugged and turned a light red, "I was sort of hoping that you'd take me back, but I wasn't expecting you to. I didn't think you would."

"It wears me out." Ian mumbled, "It wears me out."

David frowned.

"It wears me out. It wears me out."

"Ian?"

"If I could be who you wanted, if I could be who you wanted…."

"You are."

"All the time?" Ian looked over at him.

"All the time."

"I'm not going to take you back." Ian shook his head, looking away.

David nodded and grabbed his bottle. He put his hand behind him like he was about to leave.

"But-"

"But?" David looked at him hopefully, letting his bottle roll down into the gutter.

"I am willing to restart." Ian glanced at him, "If you are."

David nodded, "I am."

Ian smiled, "Good."

After a few minutes of silence, David piped up, "Okay I'll bite. What's the difference?"

"The difference is that we don't just pick up where we left off. We start from the beginning."

"In that case," David turned to face him, "want to go back downstairs and grab a bite too eat? As a date, maybe?"

"A sort of date?" Ian smiled, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah." David got up and crawled through the window back inside, "Come on."

Ian took his hand and went through the window. Instead of just dropping his hand like he normally would have, he held onto it for the rest of the night, and when he woke up in the morning still holding it, he was pretty sure that he hadn't let go all night.


	24. Kid A

**woohoo last chapter here we go make sure to read the sequel if you liked this one. It's called "Hail to the Thief" yes, i know the chapter titles are weird, and that they always come in two parts, but it's my all time favorite album so I decided to give it it's own story.**

**ps. toby turner and tyler oakley are in this chapter, both as anthony's age. pewds, jack douglass, dan and phil, as well as several other youtubers will appear in the next story in anthony's group of friends. comment and let me know which ones you'd like to see, and which mental disease you'd think they'd have, since anthony's school is a facility that helps children which diseases like OCD, kleptomania, pyromania, bipolar disorder, amnestic disorder, and many others. it's just a unique idea, and it helps people realize that saying 'oh my gosh i'm so OCD i hate things that don't match' might actually be offending people since OCD is a very serious mental disorder.**

**anyway thanks for reading, i hope you liked it!**

* * *

"First day of eighth grade!" David cheered as he pushed a grumbling Anthony down the stairs.

"Newbie, stop that."

"Is that my title forever?" He frowned.

"I think that now that I'm in eighth grade I can call you something more grown up. The only reason I still call you that is because Dad told me too. You aren't new anymore."

"No?" David grinned as he poured Anthony a glass of orange juice.

"Not really." Anthony waved a hand lazily, grabbing the cup, "You and Dad dated for like four years, then broke up for two and a half years for god only knows what reason, and you've been back ever since."

"Sounds pretty accurate to me." David frowned, "You weren't too shaken by the breakup, were you?"

Anthony shook his head, "I knew it was only a matter of time before you guys got back together."

"You were ten!" David cried.

"I was eleven!" Anthony pointed his finger in his face.

David leaned forward, resting his chin in his palm, "How long has it been since I started dating your father again?"

"About seven years or so." Anthony waved a hand.

"I meant from the actual break up." He said, "The one where we both actually agreed to be broken up. The one where you came running to Mari's so that your dad would have to see me and fall in love with me again, even though it had been two years of us not seeing each other."

Anthony looked up, "Two months and four days."

"You're really on top of things."

"I know." He smirked, "Of course I am."

David shook his head, "Whatever. What are you going to call me now?"

"Since Ian is Dad, I figured I could call you Pop or Pops."

"Either one works for me, Little Man."

"I thought I was kiddo?"

"No, Toby is kiddo. You're Kid A."

Anthony was obviously not amused, "That was the saddest most pathetic Radiohead joke you've ever told."

"Grab your bag and let's go." David grabbed Anthony's shoulders and pushed him towards the door, "We're taking Toby to school."

"I haven't eaten breakfast."

"Do me a favor and go start get Toby and start the car. I'll be right out." He tossed Anthony the keys and popped two waffles in the toaster.

When they were done, he spread peanut butter across them and wrapped it in a paper towel, rushing to the door.

"David?"

"Go back to bed, Ian. I've got this." He kissed his boyfriend's cheek before closing the door and slamming into someone.

"Mr. Moss!" They took a step back.

"Hey Tyler. You coming to school with us this morning?"

"Dad dropped me off. He said you'd take me."

"Matt said that, did he?"

Tyler nodded, his red hair bouncing around his thick glasses, "Yeah. He did."

David smiled at the boy and guided him out towards the car. Tyler was adopted by Matt and Josh and literally looked nothing like either of them, aside from the fact he wore glasses. They adopted him about a year after they got together, about a month after they got married, so Tyler was fully aware that neither of them were his actual parents.

"Hey Pops I still haven't eaten." Anthony whined as he shut the door.

"Behold the mighty waffle sandwich." David handed Anthony his breakfast as he drove off.

"Dad's calling." Anthony took a bite out of his sandwich and opened up his phone, "You're in big trouble."

David bit his lip.

"He wants to talk to you."

"Ian?" David held the phone up to his ear, "Hey darling. What's wrong?"

"You left me."

"I know I did. I wanted you to get some sleep."

David could hear Ian sigh, "I can't sleep."

"I'm sorry. I'll be home in less than half an hour."

"Is Tyler with you? Josh told me he would be."

"Yes, Ty is with us. Toby is too."

Tyler and Toby were sitting in the back, arguing over which girl would fall in love with Toby first.

Anthony rolled his eyes, "None of them!"

David shook his head and alerted his attention back to Ian, "I'm sorry. What did you say?"

"I said good luck getting them to school. It'll be crowded."

"We'll be fine. We have some sweet tunes to rock out to."

"Dad he's making us listen to old music!" Anthony said loud enough for Ian to hear.

"What are you guys listening to today?" Ian asked.

"The ever classic-"

"Radiohead!" Anthony said even louder.

"You can't get enough of them, can you?" Ian laughed, "You're worse than me."

"Actually, I haven't figured out how to work the CD player in the car so we're constantly listening to just this one album whenever I drive."

"You're an idiot. I'll teach you today."

"Hang on. I have to go now. Anthony needs his phone back. Something about Kalel being at school already." David grinned, hanging up.

Anthony turned bright red, "Liar! I never said anything about that."

"Ooooo!" Toby laughed, "You totally like her."

"It's so obvious." Tyler added.

"Shut up." Anthony crossed his arms.

"You know, I still haven't met her yet." David stopped the car to let them out, "She's never come over while I've been there."

"There's a reason for that." Anthony grinned, shutting the door.

David rolled his eyes and went back home. He went upstairs to their room. Ian had somehow managed to wake up, call him, get dressed, and fall completely back to sleep. He smiled down at him before kicking his shoes off and climbing into bed with him.

Ian grunted at the weight shift and rolled over into David's arms.

"I missed you." He mumbled.

"I know you did." David grinned, kissing the top of Ian's head.

"Don't ever leave me without warning again."

He sighed, "If you had gone downstairs, you would've noticed that I actually left you a note telling you where I was."

Ian finally opened his eyes, "You could've texted me."

"My phone died. I explained it in the note. It's charging downstairs."

"Stop talking and just hold me." Ian said, his eyelids drooping.

"I got you." He smiled, wrapping his arms around him, "I've got you."

"How can you be sure?" Ian mumbled.

"Because I love you." He smiled, "And I won't let go."

"You'd better not."

"I said I wouldn't. I like you too much for that."

"I love you." Ian smiled, opening his eyes and looking up at him.

"I love you too." David smiled back, kissing him, feeling better than he ever had before.


End file.
